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Printed newspaper or books vs online

In today's world, advertisement has become a significant tool for marketing a product. While some argue that advertisement increases awareness about products that may improve our lives, others are of the opinion that advertisement induces people to buy unnecessary things. I strongly believe that the latter is more correct, as will be explained. To promote a product, companies generally propagate only its the brighter side, thus providing an incomplete picture of the product. When only positive aspects are known, there is an inclination to buy that product; thus, we end up purchasing something which is not required. One such example is herbal products and weight loss supplements. In data published by the magazine India Today, the use of herbal products to reduce weight has seen significant increase in the recent years, whereas health experts are of the opinion that weight can only be controlled through proper diet and exercise. Many of my friends who used such medicines have later repented their choice. Moreover, children are easily attracted by advertisements. Nowadays, most of the teenagers like to own a smart phone which is a result of mass advertisement. Recently a school in UK banned children from using mobile phones inside school premises, as cellphones were the major cause of distraction which affected their studies. In conclusion, it can be said that an advertisement creates an impression on consumer's mind and people end up buying an undesired product. Thus, a thorough research before buying is strongly recommended.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has become a significant tool for marketing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
increases awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, others are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
induces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary things. I
strongly
believe that the latter is more correct, as will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
.

To promote a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
generally
propagate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean “it’s” (short for ‘it is’) instead of ‘its’ (possessive pronoun)?
its
the brighter side,
thus
providing an incomplete picture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects
are known
, there is an inclination to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
;
thus
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up purchasing something which is not required. One such example is herbal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and weight loss supplements. In data published by the magazine India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of herbal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
weight has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
significant increase in the recent years, whereas health experts are of the opinion that weight can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be controlled
through proper diet and exercise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of my friends who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
such medicines have later repented their choice.

Moreover
, children are
easily
attracted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. Nowadays, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phone
which is a result of mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. Recently a school in UK banned children from using mobile phones inside school premises, as cellphones were the major cause of distraction which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
their studies.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
creates an impression on consumer's mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up buying an undesired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Thus
, a thorough research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying is
strongly
recommended.
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IELTS essay Printed newspaper or books vs online

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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