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“Prevention is better than cure”, Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

We live in an era where many of us are going through several harmful diseases, because we are not taking care of ourselves and this takes us to get treatment. Because of this the government needs to invest in finding the best cure which needs a huge amount but instead of this we want to spend money on prevention for ourselves which is the best option and I completely agree with that. Firstly, it is true that we want to take care of ourselves and invest more money on ourselves than medicine or treatment, the number of health problems occurs because of a careless approach for ourselves which also led us to getting many dangerous diseases. So it would be a good choice to abandon anything which occurs anything unusual on our health and start finding prevention. For example, start everyday exercising, start taking healthy food and many more activities which are beneficial for our health. Secondly, people should stop watching tv serials or shows and news which are bad for their mental health, because it is possible that it can also harm you very dangerously. For example, globally many patients are going through mental illness which are happen because of watching continuously unusual programmes on tv and it is increasing day by day so it is good to stop watching this types of show and prevent yourself rather than get mental issue And it is provable that the person who takes care of themselves has less chance to occur any diseases. In conclusion, rather than spend money on treatment it is beneficial to invest money on your health or in prevention and it also helps the government to spend this money on researching something which is beneficial for our nation.
We
live
in an era where
many
of us are going through several harmful diseases,
because
we are not taking care of
ourselves
and this takes us to
get
treatment.
Because of this
the
government
needs to invest in finding the best cure which needs a huge amount
but
instead
of this we want to spend
money
on prevention for
ourselves
which is the best option and I completely
agree
with that.

Firstly
, it is true that we want to take care of
ourselves
and invest more
money
on
ourselves
than medicine or treatment, the number of
health
problems occurs
because
of a careless approach for
ourselves
which
also
led us to getting
many
dangerous
diseases.
So
it would be a
good
choice to abandon anything which occurs anything unusual on our
health
and
start
finding prevention.
For example
,
start
everyday
exercising,
start
taking healthy food and
many
more activities which are beneficial for our health.

Secondly
,
people
should
stop
watching
tv
serials or
shows
and news which are
bad
for their mental
health
,
because
it is possible that it can
also
harm you
very
dangerously
.
For example
, globally
many
patients are going through mental illness which are
happen
because
of watching
continuously
unusual
programmes
on
tv and
it is increasing day by day
so
it is
good
to
stop
watching this types of
show
and
prevent
yourself
rather
than
get
mental issue

And it is provable that the person who takes care of themselves has less chance to occur any diseases.

In conclusion
,
rather
than spend
money
on treatment it is beneficial to invest
money
on your
health
or in
prevention and
it
also
helps
the
government
to spend this
money
on researching something which is beneficial for our nation.
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IELTS essay “Prevention is better than cure”, Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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