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It is no doubt that business is a crucial thing in our life.

It is no doubt that business is a crucial thing in our life. However, not everyone has a business as managing it is not as easy as one thinks. Managing a business requires knowing it. Some people believe that the best way to gain this knowledge is by attending university. However, others disagree as they believe that there are still many other better ways. This essay will take a look at both sides of the argument. Attending a university in order to learn to manage a business has its pros and cons. Firstly, by attending a university one would have more knowledge. They would know multiple ways to overcome the problem that they encounter in their business. Attending university also allows you to extend your social network. Social network in business is very important. In order to have a successful business, you have to know many people. However, only attending university means that you have zero experience as you only focus on exams and textbooks. This can cause some problems when you manage a business in the future. Nevertheless, attending a university is not the only way to learn about business. There are many people out there who learn by being in the work field directly. This ensures that you would have more work experience. However, this still means that your knowledge would not be as much as those who attend courses. Taking everything into consideration, both views are right and wrong. It would be better if one goes to a university and do something else, like an internship, which can give them the work experiences they need,
It is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is a crucial thing in our life.
However
, not everyone has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
as managing it is not as easy as one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
. Managing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
requires knowing it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to gain this knowledge is by attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
However
, others disagree as they believe that there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
. This essay will take a look at both sides of the argument.

Attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in order to learn to manage a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has its pros and cons.
Firstly
, by attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
one would have more knowledge. They would know multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to overcome the problem that they encounter in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to extend your social network. Social network in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In order to have a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
means that you have zero experience as you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on exams and textbooks. This can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems when you manage a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in the future.
Nevertheless
, attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
out there who learn by being in the work field
directly
. This ensures that you would have more work experience.
However
, this
still
means that your knowledge would not be as much as those who attend courses.

Taking everything into consideration, both views are right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. It would be better if one goes to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and do something else, like an internship, which can give them the work experiences they need,
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IELTS essay It is no doubt that business is a crucial thing in our life.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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