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prevention is better than cure

prevention is better than cure blJB
Its a lame proverb we have all been hearing throughout our lives. But when we ponder upon the same, our thoughts navigate into those depressive times we had to face, probably when we were affected by some nasty illness. Most often the idea that, if I would have cared a little bit, I wouldn't have to be on this bed is the one of the rattling voices in our heads that we all share, no matter whatever be our illness. Perhaps, we may be true thinking that. Its an undebatable fact that our medical system have achieved great accomplishments in vast areas including analgesics, genecology, and various other fields. Not only that, they provide medical services to everyone at much cheaper rates than they did a few years before, as the manufacture of medicines have flourished and large quantities are being made economically. For example, an iron deficiency can easily be tackled by a 1 dollar note. But saying that, does it mean we need to be less cautious when it comes to health? Of course not. Even though the hospitals are at your doorsteps, its our job to safeguard ourselves and our dear ones from diseases. Because the physical and emotional toll a disease can take on us is beyond fathom. Firstly, it affects the person's day to day lives. He/she wont be able to perform his/her daily chores and one will have to abstain from work or school if one's health is affected. Not only that, a disease not only affects the person, but also the family and the loved ones. Even if it is not contingent, the other members have to retire from their work as well even if its for a short period of time. The situation is much worse if the disease is contingent. Every member will be at the risk of disease attack and sometimes they all can fall ill. In short, a disease scavenges on our time, health and money if we pay no heed to it. There is another proverb which says a stitch in time saves nine. It can be applied here. Its always better to take necessary actions before the matter becomes worse. Similarly, when we are healthy, if we take proper care of our bodies by exercising, eating healthy and taking necessary supplements, to an extend we can prevent diseases. And in a long run, it will finally be beneficial for us. After all who doesn't love to save money to spend it on exotic beaches than dreadful hospitals.
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
a lame proverb we have all
The verb 'hearing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
been hearing
throughout our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when we ponder upon the same, our thoughts navigate into those depressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
we had to face,
probably
when we were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nasty illness. Most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that, if I
Did you mean "had cared"?
would have cared
a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
, I wouldn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be on this bed is the one of the rattling voices in our heads that we all share, no matter whatever be our illness. Perhaps, we may be true thinking that. Its an
Possible spelling mistake found.
undebatable
fact that our medical system have achieved great accomplishments in vast areas including analgesics,
Possible spelling mistake found.
genecology
, and various other fields. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, they provide medical services to everyone at much cheaper rates than they did a few years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, as the manufacture of medicines have flourished and large quantities are
being made
economically
.
For example
, an iron deficiency can
easily
be tackled
by a 1 dollar note.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
saying that, does it mean we need to be less cautious when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to health?
Of course
not.
Even though
the hospitals are at your doorsteps,
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
our job to safeguard ourselves and our dear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the physical and emotional toll a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
can take on us is beyond fathom.
Firstly
, it affects the person's
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. He/she
Please make sure you mean 'wont' (a habit), not "won't"/"won’t" (short for 'will not')?
wont
be able to perform his/her daily chores and one will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
abstain from work or school if one's health is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects the person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the family and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. Even if it is not contingent, the other members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
retire from their work
as well
even if its for a short period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The situation is much worse if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is contingent. Every member will be at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
attack and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they all can fall ill. In short, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
scavenges on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, health and money if we pay no heed to it. There is another proverb which says a stitch in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saves nine. It can
be applied
here. Its always better to take necessary actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the matter becomes worse.
Similarly
, when we are healthy, if we take proper care of our bodies by exercising, eating healthy and taking necessary supplements, to
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'extend' is correct. If 'extend' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an extend
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. And in a long run, it will
finally
be beneficial for us.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
all who doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to save money to spend it on exotic beaches than dreadful hospitals.
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IELTS essay prevention is better than cure

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
420 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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