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Many children these days have an unhealty lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.

Many children these days have an unhealty lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. e0qx
Children’s life nowadays is quite different that they tend to have unhealthy lifestyle. Some people believe that schools must responsible to change this bad lifestyle while the other people believe that parents is the most vital agents for this changes. This essay will examine these aspects whether school or parents have responsible for this. Parents today are busier than parents in the past. They just have less time to care to their children. Therefore, for children’s meal, parents prefer to give their children money so that children can buy food in school. As a result, their children can buy everything food that they want and there is no one who control them when they buy food outside. For this point, parents have responsible to ensure their children eat healthy meal. One of the solutions is to cater the food for their lunch. Schools also have important role for this by controling the food quality in canteen and do not giving permission for children to buy food outside. The other unhealthy lifestyle is that children do not care to keep their area clean. In school, some students like to litter the rubbish everywhere. Also, they like to play with their friends without care whether the place clean or dirty. After playing, they hold the food using their hands without washing their hands first. All of what they do potentially affect their health. Because of that, teachers in school must direct their children to have healthy life and make strike rules for this. Parents also must teach their children to usually keep clean. To sum up, in order to change the unhealthy lifestyle in children, I believe that both parents and schools have responbility for it. While the parents control and teach their children at home, teachers do it in school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
life nowadays is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
that they tend to have unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
responsible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
while the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is the most vital agents for
Did you mean "these"?
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. This essay will examine these aspects whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have responsible for this.

Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are busier than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the past. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have less time to care to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
meal,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
prefer to give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
As a result
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that they want and there is no one who control them when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outside. For this point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have responsible to ensure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
eat healthy meal. One of the solutions is to cater the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for their lunch.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for this by
Possible spelling mistake found.
controling
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
quality in canteen and do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "give"?
giving
permission for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outside.

The other unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not care to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their area clean. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students like to litter the rubbish everywhere.
Also
, they like to play with their friends without care whether the place clean or dirty. After playing, they hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
using their hands without washing their hands
first
. All of what they do
potentially
affect their health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, teachers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
direct their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have healthy life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strike
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
clean.

To sum up, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
responbility
for it. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
control and teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home, teachers do it in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
school
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IELTS essay Many children these days have an unhealty lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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