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"Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.18

"Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. with this statement? v. 18
With the rise of health issues among the general populace, one can argue that the finances assigned to the health department must be re-directed to educating the public on health and methods to avoid sickness. In my opinion funds would play a better role in education on health and preventive steps. This essay will first elaborate on how hygiene will help the general population followed by stressing on the impact of a healthy diet and exercise on ones overall health. Hygiene plays a very important role in eliminating a number of communicable diseases. Conditions as basic as the common cold to the more complicated ones like COVID-19 can spread aggressively with poor hygiene. If people are taught to regularly wash their hands before and after having food and while using the restrooms these diseases can be killed at their roots. For instance a research conducted by the Center For Disease control (CDC) shows that frequent hand washing eliminates 95% of the most deadly virus from turning into a pandemic. Apart from that, a health diet and exercise regime help in the overall fitness of an individual. As much as medication can help in beating sickness, nothing will replace a good diet in keeping the body prepared for combating sickness. In addition good exercise and constant hydration will play a vital role in eliminating a number of fatal conditions like diabetes and heart disease. For instance the department of health in Texas published a paper in which shows that people who stick to a healthy diet and exercised at least for an hour a day were 75% less likely to die of heart attack or diabetes. In conclusion, medicines will be of great use to solving health issues. However, if people are educated with the right knowledge to prevent health issues beforehand by proper hygiene and diet, there would be no need of a huge health budget.
With the rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues among the general populace, one can argue that the finances assigned to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
department
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be re-directed to educating the public on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and methods to avoid sickness. In my opinion funds would play a better role in education on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and preventive steps. This essay will
first
elaborate on how hygiene will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the general population followed by stressing on the impact of a healthy diet and exercise on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
overall
health.

Hygiene plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in eliminating a number of communicable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. Conditions as basic as the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
to the more complicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
like COVID-19 can spread
aggressively
with poor hygiene. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are taught
to
regularly
wash their hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after having food and while using the restrooms these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
can
be killed
at their roots.
For instance
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted by the Center For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Disease
control (CDC)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that frequent hand washing eliminates 95% of the most deadly virus from turning into a pandemic.

Apart from that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
diet and exercise regime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the
overall
fitness of an individual. As much as medication can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in beating sickness, nothing will replace a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
diet in keeping the body prepared for combating sickness. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
exercise and constant hydration will play a vital role in eliminating a number of fatal conditions like diabetes and heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
For instance
the department of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in Texas published a paper in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who stick to a healthy diet and exercised at least for an hour a day were 75% less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
of heart attack or diabetes.

In conclusion
, medicines will be of great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.
However
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are educated
with the right knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues beforehand by proper hygiene and diet, there would be no need of a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
budget.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay "Prevention is better than cure. " Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. with this statement? v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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