Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It appears that youth crime is rife is rising in many countries. This essay will explain the reasons why juvenile delinquency is increasing and put forward a number of ways to appropriately punish young offenders.

It appears that youth crime is rife is rising in many countries. This essay will explain the reasons why juvenile delinquency is increasing and put forward a number of ways to appropriately punish young offenders. KYlRk
It appears that youth crime is rife is rising in many countries. This essay will explain the reasons why juvenile delinquency is increasing and put forward a number of ways to appropriately punish young offenders. To begin with, the first reason is family issues. Parents have to spend a numerous of time for work due to the current economic condition of contemporary society. There is a generation gap when parents don’t have time to listen and share feelings with their children when they are in trouble. Consequently, the relationships in these families are extremely fragile and there is frequent emotional conflict. Moreover, parents let children watch violent videos uncontrollably and children are able to learn the violent and cruel acts from those videos they watched. As a result, without supervision from parents or caregivers, children of such families are often neglected as well as aggression and hostility are given free rein to develop in their minds, which will make them delinquent at a young age. The second reason is because of the lack of education. Many young people drop out of school early because the school curriculum is heavy or they have some personal issues. They will not be educated enough to benefit the community which will result in a crime rate will be higher. To reduce juvenile crime, the first is parents should care more about their children. Instead of overwork, parents need to spend more time with their children, talking to them, and giving them helpful advice. In addition, parents need to educate their children so that they can behave better and know what is wrong. Toward the education environment, teachers should understand their students’ background so that when they can support and encourage them to study hard. Furthermore, the government supports policy to families with problems as well as makes policies about age limitation of unsuitable videos. In conclusion, there are reasons that lead to criminals being committed by people of younger and younger ages. However, there are still practical measures by family, teachers, and society to prevent this.
It appears that youth crime is rife is rising in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why juvenile delinquency is increasing and put forward a number of ways to
appropriately
punish young offenders.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
The phrase 'a numerous of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a numerous of
time for work due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
economic condition of contemporary society. There is a generation gap when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
don’t have time to listen and share feelings with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they are in trouble.
Consequently
, the relationships in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
extremely
fragile and there is frequent emotional conflict.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
violent videos
uncontrollably
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are able to learn the violent and cruel acts from those videos they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
.
As a result
, without supervision from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or caregivers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
neglected
as well
as aggression and hostility are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
free rein to develop in their minds, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them delinquent at a young age. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
drop out of school early
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the school curriculum is
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
heavy or
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal issues. They will not
be educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to benefit the community which will result in a crime rate will be higher.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
juvenile crime, the
first
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should care more about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Instead
of overwork,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, talking to them, and giving them helpful advice.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to educate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can behave better and know what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Toward the education environment, teachers should understand their students’ background
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that when they can support and encourage them to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
supports policy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
with problems
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
policies about age limitation of unsuitable videos.

In conclusion
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that lead to criminals
being committed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of younger and younger ages.
However
, there are
still
practical measures by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, teachers, and society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay It appears that youth crime is rife is rising in many countries. This essay will explain the reasons why juvenile delinquency is increasing and put forward a number of ways to appropriately punish young offenders.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • It appears that youth crime is rife is rising in many countries. This essay will explain the reasons why juvenile delinquency is increasing and put forward a number of ways to appropriately punish young offenders.