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Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and with relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.

Development has become the world most discussed agenda for third world countries in every international meetings and an opportunity for the wealthier nation. I partially agree to the idea that Rich and developed nations should share their resources and money with the poorer nations. However, it is also the responsibility of the government of poorer nation to focus on their citizens well-being and growth. Wealthy nation should extend their support to under developed nations by providing their resources and transferring their technologies. Developed nations can do this by sharing food supplies, providing agriculture technological support. For instance let us take an example of natural disaster 'Tsunami' that has devastated Srilanka and how the wealthier nations have taken a step forward and extended their support in terms of food supplies, medicine, building infrastructure and technological help for rescue missions. Additionally, Developed nation can fund to implement a better education system to poorer nation that would greatly help in making a self-reliant nation. Having said that developed nation should extend their support to poorer nations, it is also the responsibility of their government to look after their citizens. The government of under developed nation should work on providing basic necessities like food, clean water, toilet and shelter to every citizens. Not just that, they should also focus on providing better job opportunities and setting up new industries in the country. This will cut down unemployment in the country and thereby improving country's GDP. Education is main pillar of the nation's growth and the government should shift its focus on providing better education infrastructure, qualified teacher, resources and equal opportunities for everyone. To summarize it, developed nation should work hand in hand with poorer nation and extend their support, opportunities and environment to grow. In tandem with that, it is responsibility of the poorer nation to take care of their citizens and move forward on the path of self-sustenance.
Development has become the world most discussed agenda for third world countries in every international meetings and an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for the wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that Rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should share their resources and money with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
However
, it is
also
the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
well-being and growth.

Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should extend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
by providing their resources and transferring their technologies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can do this by sharing food supplies, providing agriculture technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
.
For instance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us take an example of natural disaster 'Tsunami' that has devastated
Possible spelling mistake found.
Srilanka
and how the wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have taken a step forward and extended their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
in terms of food supplies, medicine, building infrastructure and technological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for rescue missions.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can fund to implement a better education system to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
that would
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in making a self-reliant nation.

Having said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should extend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, it is
also
the responsibility of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should work on providing
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
like food, clean water, toilet and shelter to every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "citizen"?
citizens
. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
that, they should
also
focus on providing better job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and setting up new industries in the country. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down unemployment in the country and thereby improving country's GDP. Education
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a main" or "is an main"
is main
pillar of the nation's growth and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should shift its focus on providing better education infrastructure, qualified teacher, resources and equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for everyone.

To summarize
it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should work hand in hand with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and extend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and environment to grow. In tandem with that, it is responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward on the path of self-sustenance.
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IELTS essay Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and with relevant evidence.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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