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Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no special knowledge of the following topic. Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

Immunization has led to the prevention of many childhood diseases. While some people are of the view that individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children, others believe that immunization must be mandated by law. This essay will argue that vaccinations are critical and hence must be made mandatory by law. A recent school of thought has evolved that vaccinations contain unknown contents and hence pose a threat to children and therefore parents can choose to not opt for the same. This thought stems from the fear of injecting foreign and dangerous substances into the body of a child. For instance, in one case in Nigeria, it was observed that a child fell critically ill post vaccination. Hence, more and more people are concluding that vaccination is not required for children. However, this thought is preposterous and such a rare occurence shoud not undermine the importance of immunization. Children are provided with a number of vaccines at a young age to help prevent contraction of common diseases. Furthermore, it acts as an immunity booster and prevents illness. For example, the polio vaccine given in India, has ensured complete eradication of this disease. Hence, immunization is critical for children and cannot be done away with. Since, some parents are opting out, it is best to mandate immunization by law to prevent onset of diseases and safeguarding of children. Levy of law will ensure that immunization is strictly followed by all parents. "Prevention is better than cure" is a famous proverb and a very apt conclusion for this essay. Immunization is the best way to prevent childhood dieseases and hence levy of law mandating the same, is the only way to ensure strict adherance.
Immunization has led to the prevention of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the view that individuals have the right to choose not to
Possible spelling mistake. 'immunise' is British English.
immunise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, others believe that immunization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be mandated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
. This essay will argue that vaccinations are critical and
hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
mandatory by law.

A recent school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
has evolved that vaccinations contain unknown contents and
hence
pose a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
therefore
parents can choose to not opt for the same. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
stems from the fear of injecting foreign and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
substances into the body of a child.
For instance
, in one case in Nigeria, it
was observed
that a child fell
critically
ill post vaccination.
Hence
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are concluding that vaccination is not required for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is preposterous and such a rare
Possible spelling mistake found.
occurence
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoud
not undermine the importance of immunization.

Children
are provided
with a number of vaccines at a young age to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
contraction of common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
Furthermore
, it acts as an immunity booster and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevents
illness.
For example
, the polio vaccine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in India, has ensured complete eradication of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
Hence
, immunization is critical for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and cannot
be done
away with. Since,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents are opting out, it is best to mandate immunization by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
onset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and safeguarding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Levy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
will ensure that immunization is
strictly
followed by all parents.

Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Prevention is better than cure
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
proverb and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
apt conclusion for this essay. Immunization is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
childhood
Possible spelling mistake found.
dieseases
and
hence
levy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
mandating the same, is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to ensure strict
Possible spelling mistake found.
adherance
.
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IELTS essay Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no special knowledge of the following topic. Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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