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Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.7

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. v. 7
There will always be some popular leisure activities in a period of time and then disappear when a new trend comes along. I totally agree the assertion that hobbies reflect changing fashions rather than our true interests. The first reason for that is most of the people like to choose hobbies to make friends rather than real interests to themselves. If you have a special amusement that you can't even find a group in real life, loneliness and half-measures tend to be an ultimately result. Therefore, we may pretend to like a popular hobby for making a group of friends. For instance, even though I cannot put too much passion into watching basketball games, I may attempt to knowing the scores of the competition to join a conversation of boys in the class. In addition, popular interests always manifest a universal value and that influence the choice of hobbies. Generally, when we choose a hobby, we will consider our personal image and the attitude of others. Can you remember the reason of learning guitar or piano? You may confess that you don't actually like to play these instruments, but feel others will say it's cool that you can play the guitar. On the other hand, some cultures remain the value that girls are supposed to have some designated interests and people would be angry if you have an inappropriate leisure activity. In conclusion, I stand the point that these popular habits are more like a reflection of that time rather than a true passion to us.
There will always be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
leisure activities in a period of time and then disappear when a new trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
along. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the assertion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
reflect changing fashions
rather
than our true interests.

The
first
reason for
that is
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends
rather
than real interests to themselves. If you have a special amusement that you can't even find a group in real life, loneliness and half-measures tend to be an
You used an adverb ('ultimately') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('result') instead of another adjective.
ultimately result
.
Therefore
, we may pretend to like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
for making a group of friends.
For instance
,
even though
I cannot put too much passion into watching basketball games, I may attempt to knowing the scores of the competition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a conversation of boys in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
interests always manifest a universal value and that influence the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
.
Generally
, when we choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
, we will consider our personal image and the attitude of others. Can you remember the reason of learning guitar or piano? You may confess that you don't actually like to play these instruments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
feel others will say it's cool that you can play the guitar.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures remain the value that girls
are supposed
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
designated interests and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be angry if you have an inappropriate leisure activity.

In conclusion
, I stand the point that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
habits are more like a reflection of that time
rather
than a true passion to us.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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