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Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? qV6g5
Individuals who look after the welfare of the environment see that pollution of rivers, lakes, and seas become the leading concern. There are various causes of polluted water as well as effects on human society and animal life. Water pollution becomes a major concern around the globe. A lot of non-government organizations are trying to save our environment by preventing this to happen. Furthermore, irresponsible citizens, manufacturer owners, and factory owners are the major reason behind this problem. Firstly, large factories that do not comply with proper guidelines given by the government such as waste bin and drainage sewers permit to start their operation wherein the waste coming from their site are dump directly to the rivers and lakes which makes the water contaminated from the waste chemicals such as well as gas leaks. Secondly, throwing garbage everywhere especially those irresponsible individuals who are living beside the river and lakes. Moreover, some people are not aware of the consequences in the future and because of that, not only society but as well as animals especially those who are living creatures in the water may harm them. One example, substances such as plastic can be crucial to the life of fishes who are freely living on seas, these plastic can harm our fishes by strangling and wrap on their body which can lead to death. Another example, fishes could swallow toxic chemical spills which can lead to tonnes of dead fishes. Lastly, As for human society, during rainy days, these clogged drainages due to tonnes of garbage in seas and river will lead to natural disasters To sum up, it is essential to take care of our mother nature by doing responsible and kind things. It should start to people by means of doing good citizen. Save our environment so that the next generation could see and appreciate our enviroment.
Individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
look after the welfare of the environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that pollution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rivers
, lakes, and seas become the leading concern. There are various causes of polluted water
as well
as effects on human society and animal life.

Water pollution becomes a major concern around the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organizations are trying to save our environment by preventing this to happen.
Furthermore
, irresponsible citizens, manufacturer owners, and factory owners are the major reason behind this problem.
Firstly
, large factories that do not comply with proper guidelines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
such as waste bin and drainage sewers permit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their operation wherein the waste coming from their site are dump
directly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rivers
and lakes which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the water contaminated from the waste chemicals such
as well
as gas leaks.
Secondly
, throwing garbage everywhere
especially
those irresponsible individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are living beside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
and lakes.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not aware of the consequences in the future and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as well
as animals
especially
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are living creatures in the water may harm them. One example, substances such as plastic can be crucial to the life of fishes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
freely
living on seas, these plastic can harm our fishes by strangling and wrap on their body which can lead to death. Another example, fishes could swallow toxic chemical spills which can lead to tonnes of dead fishes.
Lastly
, As for human society, during rainy days, these clogged drainages due to tonnes of garbage in seas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
will lead to natural disasters

To sum up, it is essential to take care of our mother nature by doing responsible and kind things. It should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by means of doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen. Save our environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
next
generation could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and appreciate our
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
.
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IELTS essay Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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