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Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? EQEM
One of the major concerns for the environmentalist is water pollution. The main cause of this is the increase of industries and lack of awareness is the second most important cause of this phenomenon, marine creatures are dying because of this and humans also getting diseases from polluted water. The main reason for water pollution is the rapid increase in the number of factories all over the world. This is to say that many developing countries do not have the proper waste recycling system and all the industries dump their waste in the sea or river. Moreover, most people in the less developed countries are not aware of the consequences of throwing a shopping bag near water. It is normal for them to eat around the sea and throw the shopper there. As a result, we see a lot of shopper and different waste around the sea or rivers that are causing water pollution so the government should take notice of it and introduce laws to fine people who are doing this. For example, the government of India took the same initiative a few years ago in Mumbai and it resulted in the reduction of waste on the beach. Marine life is being affected by the waste of industries and shoppers. Many sea creatures are on the verge of extinction because when industries released their chemical waste in the sea it causes a lot of harm to marine life. Humans also are being affected by this because many insects born in polluted water cause different diseases to people. For instance, different kind of insects such as mosquitos born in the muddy water that cause Malaria and other diseases to humans. In conclusion, water pollution is one of the biggest issues for people who are concerned about the environment. The causes of this are lack of awareness and the rapid development of industries, marine life is suffering a lot and many creatures are about to disappear and humans also facing diseases from this.
One of the major concerns for the environmentalist is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of this is the increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and lack of awareness is the second most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of this phenomenon, marine creatures are dying
because of this
and humans
also
getting
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diseases
from polluted water.

The main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is the rapid increase in the number of factories all over the world. This is to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
do not have the proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
recycling system and all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
dump their
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waste
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
or river.
Moreover
, most
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people
in the less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are not aware of the consequences of throwing a shopping bag near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. It is normal for them to eat around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
and throw the shopper there.
As a result
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Possible agreement error. The noun shopper seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of shoppers".
a lot of shopper
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
or rivers that are causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take notice of it and introduce laws to fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are doing this.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of India took the same initiative a few years ago in Mumbai and it resulted in the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
on the beach.

Marine life is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and shoppers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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sea
creatures are on the verge of extinction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
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industries
released their chemical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
it
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causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
harm to marine life. Humans
also
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
insects born in polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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diseases
to
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people
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of insects such as
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "mosquitoes", the plural form of the noun 'mosquito'?
mosquitos
born in the muddy
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water
that
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cause
Malaria and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
to humans.

In conclusion
,
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is one of the biggest issues for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are concerned
about the environment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of this are lack of awareness and the rapid development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, marine life is suffering a lot and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
creatures are about to disappear and humans
also
facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
from this.
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IELTS essay Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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