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The increase in tourism has led to the destruction of the environment, thus tourism ought to be banned in certain areas. What is your opinion?

A section of people hold an opinion that a hike in tourism sector is causing damage to environment and hence tourism should be restricted in some places. I completely agree with the above statement. In this essay I will throw some light on some aspects that of tourism that are damaging to environment. Although, vacation industry contribute to a huge chunk in our nations economy we cannot ignore the risk that comes with allowing foreigners in the country. The recent pandemic Covid-19 and its disastrous effects on mankind is an example for this. During the pandemic due to quarantine and social isolation there is significant increase in domestic waste and also hospital waste without recycling procedures leading to immense ill effects on environment. Besides, tourism industries have a extreme negative effects on coastal areas and contribute to severe sea shore waste. For instance every year tons of plastic cans and other waste is washed up in goa shore after the vacation season and because of which under water flora and fauna is negatively impacted. Hence tourism should be restricted in Goa for few years to help nature regain its composure. Apart from this many states in quest to improve tourism sectors are promoting to build new resorts and recreational parks in nature depths which causes deforestation, and ultimately effect the rainfall conditions leading to droughts. Are this measures to improve economic reserves by government right? if so whom are they beneficial to? As responsible citizens it is our duty to be aware about preservation of nature, if not along with flora and fauna we humans might also become extinct in coming years. To conclude, even though vacation sector is a major source of economy in countries, governments should regulate and constrict tourism in some locations in-order to avoid damage to environment.
A section of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold an opinion that a hike in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector is causing damage to environment and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
should
be restricted
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement. In this essay I will throw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
that are damaging to environment.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, vacation industry contribute to a huge chunk in our nations economy we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with allowing foreigners in the country. The recent pandemic Covid-19 and its disastrous effects on mankind is an example for this. During the pandemic due to quarantine and social isolation there is significant increase in domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
and
also
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
without recycling procedures leading to immense ill effects on environment.

Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industries have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
extreme
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on coastal areas and contribute to severe sea shore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
.
For instance
every year tons of plastic cans and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
is washed
up in
Possible spelling mistake found.
goa shore
after the vacation season and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which under water flora and fauna is
negatively
impacted.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
should
be restricted
in Goa for few years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
nature regain its composure.

Apart from this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
states in quest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sectors are promoting to build new resorts and recreational parks in nature depths which causes deforestation, and
ultimately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
the rainfall conditions leading to droughts. Are this measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
economic reserves by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
right?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
whom are they beneficial to? As responsible citizens it is our duty to be aware about preservation of nature, if not along with flora and fauna we humans might
also
become extinct in coming years.

To conclude
,
even though
vacation sector is a major source of economy in countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should regulate and constrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
locations in-order to avoid damage to environment.
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IELTS essay The increase in tourism has led to the destruction of the environment, thus tourism ought to be banned in certain areas. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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