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playing video games lead to increased level of crime.

playing video games lead to increased level of crime. Q2WOy
Nowadays, following the development of the human model social, people have a lot of ways to relax after time work hard. One of the things that play video games with their friends or strangers on the Internet, and it is becoming a popular activity daily of most people. However, besides the benefits that are brought for young children, it has some big problems follow also that is the increasing of criminations. This essay will discuss and shows the fact why criminal was increased when they play video game through examples and examine were got from three articles. Firstly, that is the relationship between video game playing and crime in the daily life of young people today. Many psychologists had experimented and they had two results about this problem. As a result, all gamer who have identified a negative relationship between videogame playing behavior and crime in developed countries. However, scientists also find ways to decrease crime in society nowadays. “. . . We contend that video game playing behavior, particularly insofar as it occurs within the home, alters the routine activities of individuals in such a way as to decrease the number of criminal opportunities present within a society. We provide an initial test of this hypothesis using UCR, CPS, and Census data. As predicted by routine activities theory, we find that rates of video game playing behavior in the home are negatively associated with both violent and property crime. . . . ” by Kevin McCaffree & K. Ryan Proctor in the article “Cocooned from Crime: The Relationship Between Video Games and Crime”. Secondly, playing video games behavior leads to crime not depend on age. Both young and old people can become crimes, but the number of teenagers is higher than old people. “Crime increases for both youth and adults following Mature-related releases, but the increase in crime among youth is approximately four times greater (8%) than the increase among adults (2%)” by JEL Classification in the article Do Video Games Increase Crime? Finally, there are many bad results bring for youth after they use a lot of time to play video games and become a crime. It makes the number of crime waves increase faster, especially have more victims die every day. “I investigate whether a proxy for video gaming is associated with the prevalence of various crimes and find evidence that gaming is associated with significant declines in crime and death rates. ” by MICHAEL R. WARD in VIDEO GAMES AND CRIME. In conclusion, the behavior of playing video games affects to increasing of crime in most of the metropolis.
Nowadays, following the development of the human model social,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ways to relax after time work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. One of the things that play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with their friends or strangers on the Internet, and it is becoming a popular activity daily of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
,
besides
the benefits that
are brought
for young children, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problems follow
also
that is
the increasing of
Possible spelling mistake found.
criminations
. This essay will discuss and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the fact why criminal
was increased
when they play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game through examples and examine were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from three articles.

Firstly
,
that is
the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the daily life of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
psychologists had
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experimented and
they had two results about this problem.
As a result
, all gamer who have identified a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
relationship between
Possible spelling mistake found.
videogame
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.
However
, scientists
also
find ways to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in society nowadays. “.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
We contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
,
particularly
insofar as it occurs within the home, alters the routine activities of individuals in such a way as to decrease the number of criminal opportunities present within a society. We provide an initial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
of this hypothesis using
Possible spelling mistake found.
UCR
, CPS, and Census data. As predicted by routine
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "activities'" or "activity's"?
activities
theory, we find that rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
in the home are
negatively
associated with both violent and property
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
” by Kevin
Possible spelling mistake found.
McCaffree
& K. Ryan Proctor in the article “Cocooned from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
: The Relationship Between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
and Crime”.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
not depend on age. Both young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
is higher than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
for both youth and adults following Mature-related releases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
among youth is approximately four times greater (8%) than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
among adults (2%)” by
Possible spelling mistake found.
JEL
Classification in the article Do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Increase
Crime?

Finally
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
results bring for youth after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
waves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
faster,
especially
have more victims
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
every day. “I investigate whether a proxy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
gaming
is associated
with the prevalence of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and find evidence that gaming
is associated
with significant declines in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and death rates. ” by MICHAEL R. WARD in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
VIDEO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GAMES
AND CRIME.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
affects to increasing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in most of the metropolis.
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IELTS essay playing video games lead to increased level of crime.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
433 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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