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Physical education in the curriculum: yes or no?

Physical education in the curriculum: yes or no? 70K13
While some hold a belief that gymnastics courses should be consisted of in the schooling programme for the whole student, there is evidence that children had better spare their time to study theoretical disciplines. In the following essay, justifications for both currents of thoughts will be discussed, along with my perspective. On the one hand, sports classes would be encouraged in school on the grounds that the vast majority of children in today's contemporary society are obsessed with video games and gazing at their mobiles. Perhaps, this is on account of famine of outdoor spaces for children to exercise, especially in densely populated residential areas including the busy cities. Gymnastics classes also benefit female students who are inclined to work out much less than males are. What is more, those who are not already theoretically gifted (minded) need external factors such as sports courses to figure out other paths. A case in point is that numerous internationally renowned sports stars said they had not got the good grades at school. Furthermore, physiological research has shown that doing work-out assist promoting academic accomplishment. On the other hand, some are opposed to the absence of sports courses in school timetables for the below warrants. Firstly, the growing-catastrophic employment market has led to achieving good grades and attending prestigious university taken seriously. Secondly, despite the fact that there has been a large number of specialists such as doctors, teachers all over the world, such occupations still remain drastically insufficient. Thirdly, it is a long-held notion that children's health and welfare is just the responsibility of their parents, not schools. On balance, it is my perspective that the appearance of physical education courses is outstandingly handy to striking the equality between physiological and psychological health in children's development. Alternatively, varying the genres and methods should be taken into account to secure the appropriate with the individual health condition of each child.
While
some
hold a belief that gymnastics
courses
should
be consisted
of in the schooling
programme
for the whole student, there is evidence that children had better spare their time to study theoretical disciplines. In the following essay, justifications for both currents of thoughts will
be discussed
, along with my perspective.

On the one hand,
sports
classes would
be encouraged
in school on the grounds that the vast majority of children in
today
's contemporary society
are obsessed
with video games and gazing at their mobiles. Perhaps, this is on account of famine of outdoor spaces for children to exercise,
especially
in
densely
populated residential areas including the busy cities. Gymnastics classes
also
benefit female students who
are inclined
to work out much less than males are.
What is more
, those who are not already
theoretically
gifted (minded) need external factors such as
sports
courses
to figure out other paths. A case in point is that numerous
internationally
renowned
sports
stars said they had not
got
the
good
grades at school.
Furthermore
, physiological research has shown that doing work-out assist promoting academic accomplishment.

On the other hand
,
some
are opposed
to the absence of
sports
courses
in school timetables for the below warrants.
Firstly
, the growing-catastrophic employment market has led to achieving
good
grades and attending prestigious university taken
seriously
.
Secondly
, despite the fact that there has been
a large number of
specialists such as doctors, teachers all over the world, such occupations
still
remain
drastically
insufficient.
Thirdly
, it is a long-held notion that children's health and welfare is
just
the responsibility of their parents, not schools.

On balance, it is my perspective that the appearance of physical education
courses
is
outstandingly
handy to striking the equality between physiological and psychological health in children's development.
Alternatively
, varying the genres and methods should
be taken
into account to secure the appropriate with the individual health condition of each child.
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IELTS essay Physical education in the curriculum: yes or no?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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