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Personal happiness is directly linked with money not other factors. Do you agree or disagree

Personal happiness is directly linked with money not other factors. M3wQp
Attaining happiness is quite difficult in this competitive and hectic era and it is widely considered that income of individuals ensures pleasure to them instead of other aspects. I, however, opine that satisfactory social life, family bond and good health play vital role. Nodoubt, money brings great joy not only in terms of fulfilling own wishes and fancies but also to maintain family needs. Enjoying vacations' buying luxurious items and providing all the necessary things to loved ones reauire huge amount of bucks which means financial sufficiency surely makes a person happy. Moreover, this commodity can bring people out of difficulties sich as medical and legal issues. Equally valuable is menatl and physical wellness because without these factors, neither one can enjoy nor make wise decisions despite having immense wealth. If someones is able to analyse right or wrong along with travelling to near ones and for works, it adds colour and spice in life. Thus, one must maintain good health in all respects. Not to be left behind is peaceful and respectful social and family life which give birth to inner happiness by eliminating frustration and negativity. While being in a supportive family and locality, an individual is unlikely to fall in bigger problem and if it happens, he or she can come out easily with others help. So, this factor is important to be happy. At last, money solely can not produce happiness for people, it is equally joined by satisfying work, strong family bond and healthy socialization.
Attaining happiness is quite difficult in this competitive and hectic era and it is
widely
considered that income of individuals ensures pleasure to them
instead
of other aspects. I,
however
, opine that satisfactory social life,
family
bond and
good
health play vital role.

Nodoubt
, money brings great joy not
only
in terms of fulfilling
own
wishes and fancies
but
also
to maintain
family
needs. Enjoying vacations' buying luxurious items and providing all the necessary things to
loved
ones
reauire
huge amount of bucks which means financial sufficiency
surely
makes
a person happy.
Moreover
, this commodity can bring
people
out of difficulties
sich as
medical and legal issues.

Equally
valuable is
menatl
and physical wellness
because
without these factors, neither one can enjoy nor
make
wise decisions despite having immense wealth. If someones is able to
analyse
right or
wrong
along with travelling to near
ones
and for works, it
adds
colour
and spice in life.
Thus
, one
must
maintain
good
health in all respects. Not to be
left
behind is peaceful and respectful social and
family
life which give birth to inner happiness by eliminating frustration and negativity. While being in a supportive
family
and locality, an individual is unlikely to fall in bigger problem and if it happens, he or she can
come
out
easily
with others
help
.
So
, this factor is
important
to be happy. At last, money
solely
can not produce happiness for
people
, it is
equally
joined
by satisfying work, strong
family
bond and healthy socialization.
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IELTS essay Personal happiness is directly linked with money not other factors.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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