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Write a story about a person who inspires you. What does this person do? Why is it important? How does this person influence you and others?

Write a story about a person who inspires you. What does this person do? Why is it important? How does this person influence you and others? 5k2rP
To have an idol to whom you desires to be similar is nothing out of the ordinary. It’s not an exception for me to have such a distinguished sister, who has gradually filled me with confidence and desire to become a lead vocalist of a music band at the present. My older sibling, who was a recognized member of one of the most renowned rock bands back then owning to a great flair for being good at singing the treble, used to bring younger me with any time she had a rehearsal. Whenever the joyful melody emerged from her utterly extraordinary soprano voice, everyone from her brother down to the whole auditorium was thunderstruck. She had been in fact highly praised for her musical talent showed at an early age. It’s was when she was at the age of seven that my parents were near tears listening to her singing and thus immediately sent her to City Cultural Centre for the purpose of improvement. This is quite a place beyond the capability of an average seven-year-old, hence, both my admiration for her and the motivation to be a singer since then. Certainly, it is undoubtedly her voice that I want to possess for all time. No one can deny that strenuous efforts need to be made throughout even a whole lifetime to be like her. Having been under her shadow, for a time, I thought that my voice would not be nearly as beautiful as she was until when she stopped her singing career for following another path and gave me the lead vocalist position of her band. It’s understood that no incompetent person is able to gain the recognition of all the members without owning the gift. I became a lead vocalist that way. My sister has had an enormous impact on not only me but also numerous youngsters who want to embark on the artistic voyage.
To have an idol to whom you
desires
to be similar is nothing out of the ordinary. It’s not an exception for me to have such a distinguished sister, who has
gradually
filled me with confidence and desire to become a lead vocalist of a music band at the present.

My older sibling, who was a recognized member of one of the most renowned rock bands back then owning to a great flair for being
good
at singing the treble,
used
to bring younger me with any time she had a rehearsal. Whenever the joyful melody emerged from her
utterly
extraordinary soprano voice, everyone from her brother down to the whole auditorium was thunderstruck. She had been in fact
highly
praised for her musical talent
showed
at an early age.
It’s was
when she was at the age of seven that my parents were near tears listening to her singing and
thus
immediately
sent
her to City Cultural
Centre
for the purpose of improvement. This is quite a place beyond the capability of an average seven-year-
old
,
hence
, both my admiration for her and the motivation to be a singer since then.

Certainly
, it is
undoubtedly
her voice that I want to possess for all time. No one can deny that strenuous efforts need to
be made
throughout even a whole lifetime to be like her. Having been under her shadow, for a time, I
thought
that my voice would not be
nearly
as
beautiful
as she was until when she
stopped
her singing career for following another path and gave me the lead vocalist position of her band. It’s understood that no incompetent person is able to gain the recognition of all the members without owning the gift. I became a lead vocalist that way.

My sister has had an enormous impact on not
only
me
but
also
numerous youngsters who want to embark on the artistic voyage.
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IELTS essay Write a story about a person who inspires you. What does this person do? Why is it important? How does this person influence you and others?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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