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percentage and the significance of educational qualifications on computer ownership

percentage and the significance of educational qualifications on computer ownership MyxXe
The barcharts display the percentage and the significance of educational qualifications on computer ownership between the timeframe of 2002-2010. It can be seen that the number of computer users have increased gradually from 2002 and individuals possesing higher levels of education are much higher in being owners of computers simultaneously. In 2002, only 10% computer ownership was seen to be reported in individuals without a high school diploma whereas the percentage increased by four times in 2010. It could also be deduced that nearly 100% of individuals with post graduate qualifications were computer owners in 2010 in comparison to 80% computer ownership in 2002. Moreover, the difference in computer ownership in relation to the educational qualification were much more evident in 2002 in contrast to 2010. It could also be said that the percentage difference in computer ownership is less noteworthy in highly qualified population between 2002 and 2010
The
Possible spelling mistake found.
barcharts
display the percentage and the significance of educational qualifications on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
between the timeframe of 2002-2010. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the number of computer users have increased
gradually
from 2002 and individuals
Possible spelling mistake found.
possesing
higher levels of education are much higher in being owners of computers
simultaneously
.

In 2002,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to
be reported
in individuals without a high school diploma whereas the percentage increased by four times in 2010. It could
also
be deduced
that
nearly
100% of individuals with post graduate qualifications were computer owners in 2010
in comparison
to 80% computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
in 2002.

Moreover
, the difference in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
in relation to the educational qualification were much more evident in 2002
in contrast
to 2010. It could
also
be said
that the percentage difference in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
is less noteworthy in
highly
qualified population between 2002 and 2010
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IELTS essay percentage and the significance of educational qualifications on computer ownership

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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