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peoples shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than other factors. to what extent do you agree or disagree

peoples shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than other factors. qVLnp
In these days, shopping has become one of the most essential demands of people’s daily life. Each person has different habits of purchasing products and there are some people who suppose that those habits are related closest to the ages of the buyers. I totally disagree with this statement. Undoubtedly, age is an important factor affecting peoples shopping. A consumer does not buy the same products or services at 20 years age and at 50 years age. The lifestyle, activities, habits evolve throughout the life. Therefore shopping needs also change. For example, For example, the youngsters between six and twelve years old would like to possess toys such as cars or Barbie dolls; while the teenagers have the inclination for the technological devices on which they can download the video games. Another factor which is as important as age is the gender. In general men have a different attitude about shopping than women do. In fact, women are responsible for two-third of all household product purchases whereas men buy about one-third of purchases. Their personal needs are also different. Furthermore, the socioeconomic status of of the person also determines buying choices. The upper status people buy branded product whereas lower class people have to see their pocket. For example, the rich kids use I phone in contrast the middle class and lower class kids use other brands phone. Moreover, there are individual differences. Two consumers can be similar in age, personality, gender and so on but still purchase very different products. To conclude, it can be reiterated that shopping habits depend on age, financial status, family, friends and many other factors equally.
In these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become one of the most essential demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life. Each person has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suppose that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
are related
closest to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of the buyers. I
totally
disagree with this statement.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor affecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. A consumer does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or services at 20 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and at 50 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. The lifestyle, activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
evolve throughout the life.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
needs
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
For example
,
For example
, the youngsters between six and twelve years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
would like to possess toys such as cars or Barbie dolls; while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have the inclination for the technological devices on which they can download the video games.

Another factor which is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is the gender.
In general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
attitude about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
than women do. In fact, women are responsible for two-third of all household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
about one-third of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
. Their personal needs are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
.
Furthermore
, the socioeconomic status
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
the person
also
determines buying choices. The upper status
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
whereas lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their pocket.
For example
, the rich kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
I phone
in contrast
the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
other brands phone.
Moreover
, there are individual differences. Two consumers can be similar in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, personality, gender and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
products.

To conclude
, it can
be reiterated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, financial status, family, friends and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other factors
equally
.
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IELTS essay peoples shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than other factors.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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