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people want their country to host an international sporting events. Other believes that international sporting event bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both the points of view and give your opinion.

people want their country to host an international sporting events. Other believes that international sporting event bring more problems than benefits. Joq2B
Nowadays, many people want hosting an international sports such as world cup, Olympics and so on. However, others claim that hosting these types of events has more negatives than positives. So, I will discuss both point of views and justify my opinion. To begin with, the first point is the economy of the country. Hosting this kinds of events are increased country’s economy. Many people support their home teams because they spend huge amount of money to stay in hotels and resorts. In addition, visitors also travelling from different places so they make profit to local residents. Then after, they share their culture as well as make good friends For example, the survey conducted that Dubai organized their last IPL in the year of 2020. consequently hosting an event has developed strong and diplomatic relationship between both countries as well as other nations. On the other hand, the problems of hosting this types of events has few downsides. Firstly, It is required big source of funds to host sporting games. They should also apply extra Texas on multinational sporting games. The biggest reason is that security- because government should hire extra arm forces for protection of international players. For instance, In 2012 Pakistan held hockey tournament. But, unfortunately, one incident happened over there and 12 people killed. After some time, they do not host international sports in this nation because it is extremely dangerous tragedy. In conclusion, I would like to state that both side of viewpoints. But, I think that hosting sports are beneficial for our society and individuals. So that I believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want
If 'want' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to host".
hosting
an international sports such as world cup, Olympics and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
has more negatives than positives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I will discuss both point of views and justify my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
point is the economy of the country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hosting
Did you mean "these"?
this
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are increased
country’s economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support their home teams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend huge amount of money to stay in hotels and resorts.
In addition
, visitors
also
travelling from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
profit to local residents. Then after, they share their culture
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friends
For example
, the survey conducted that Dubai organized their last
Possible spelling mistake found.
IPL
in the year of 2020.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
has developed strong and diplomatic relationship between both countries
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
other nations.

On the other hand
, the problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
this types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
has few downsides.
Firstly
, It
is required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
source of funds to host sporting games. They should
also
apply extra Texas on multinational sporting games. The biggest reason is that security-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should hire extra arm forces for protection of international players.
For instance
, In 2012 Pakistan held hockey tournament.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, unfortunately, one incident happened over there and 12
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
killed. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time, they do not host international sports in this nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
tragedy.

In conclusion
, I would like to state that both side of viewpoints.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
sports are beneficial for our society and individuals.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
I believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages.
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IELTS essay people want their country to host an international sporting events. Other believes that international sporting event bring more problems than benefits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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