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People unable to change after they born and they do every reaction according to the genes .

People unable to change after they born and they do every reaction according to the genes. nRngR
People unable to change after they born and they do every reaction according to the genes. I strongly disagree with these arguments and I will discuss why I do not take this side in my upcoming paragraphs. living in society is the one of the main vital ways of changing personalities. when people dwell in a sophisticated environment, their living style a huge of altering since they want to live other persons who are living there as well as they follow a lot of things when they stay in the higher society like cloth wearing style. For example, a survey conducted by The Times Of New York found that Indian people who are living in England, they follow the western style as well as their language and living style a massive of changing than their parents. thus, in order to alter the human character traits, living in sustainable society is the second to none. getting education an another excellent method for converting personalities from their genes. when people obtain tertiary education, their thinking ability a tremendous of altering from their parents. Because education offers a great of master knowledge which helps to enhance their personalities in comparison to their genes. For example, according to the Psychological theory, people can change their habits which are connected from their birth by education. Hence, in a bid to change some habits which are connected with genes, education prolific method for doing that. In conclusion, people change a dramatic habits in their entire life whatever their parents follow this habits or vica versa. They can change this personalities with the help of living in decent socity as well as getting education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
after they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
born and
they do every reaction according to the genes. I
strongly
disagree with these arguments and I will discuss why I do not take this side in my upcoming paragraphs.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
living
in society is the one of the main vital ways of changing personalities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dwell in a sophisticated environment, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
The phrase 'a huge of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a huge of
altering since they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
other persons who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
there
as well
as they follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things when they stay in the higher society like cloth wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
.
For example
, a survey conducted by The Times Of New York found that Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in England, they follow the western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
as well
as their language and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
The phrase 'a massive of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a massive of
changing than their parents.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thus
, in order to alter the human character traits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in sustainable society is the second to none.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "an excellent" or "another excellent".
an another excellent
method for converting personalities from their genes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
obtain tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, their thinking ability
The phrase 'a tremendous of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a tremendous of
altering from their parents.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
offers a great of master knowledge which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to enhance their personalities
in comparison
to their genes.
For example
, according to the Psychological theory,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
which
are connected
from their birth by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Hence
, in a bid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
which
are connected
with genes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
prolific method for doing that.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
a dramatic
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "habit"?
habits
in their entire life whatever their parents follow
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
vica
versa. They can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
Did you mean "these"?
this
personalities with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in decent
Possible spelling mistake found.
socity
as well
as getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay People unable to change after they born and they do every reaction according to the genes.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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