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People think that money can bring happiness. However, having more than enough money leads to problems. Do u agree or disagree?

People think that money can bring happiness. However, having more than enough money leads to problems. Do u agree or disagree? e5EeK
It is not possible for money to bring happiness in life and it is true that money cannot be happiness. It is not easy to define happiness, as this feeling varies from one person to another. However, I strongly agree that there are various approaches to achieve satisfaction in people's life. It is difficult to define joy as a whole. In other words, each and every human being in this world find pleasure in different things. For instance, a recent survey by the UK government demonstrated that 60% of the population are happy with a peaceful life, whereas the rest gets excited when they are around their family members. Therefore, it is not feasible to define this feeling holistically, as it differs based upon people's perspective towards life and their varying requirements as they progress in life. Besides, there are various methods in society to be joyful. One approach is to stay away from the rat race, which is trending in this fast-paced nation. For example, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that a person finds fulfilment only when he is free from stress and negative vibration. Another methodology is to be connected with your family, which enables you to spend your valuable time with them and keeps your mind happy. As a result, this brings inner peace and joy to a great extent. To conclude, even though it is difficult to define happiness, people can achieve it by leading a stress-free life and by collaborating with their family.
It is not possible for money to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and it is true that money cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. It is not easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, as this feeling varies from one person to another.
However
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there are various approaches to achieve satisfaction in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.

It is difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
define
joy as a whole.
In other words
, each and every human being in this world find pleasure in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things.
For instance
, a recent survey by the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
demonstrated that 60% of the population are happy with a peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, whereas the rest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
excited when they are around their family members.
Therefore
, it is not feasible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
define
this feeling
holistically
, as it differs based upon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's perspective towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and their varying requirements as they progress in life.

Besides
, there are various methods in society to be joyful. One approach is to stay away from the rat race, which is trending in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced nation.
For example
, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that a person finds
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when he is free from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
vibration. Another methodology is to
be connected
with your family, which enables you to spend your valuable time with them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
your mind happy.
As a result
, this brings inner peace and joy to a great extent.

To conclude
,
even though
it is difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can achieve it by leading a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and by collaborating with their family.
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IELTS essay People think that money can bring happiness. However, having more than enough money leads to problems. Do u agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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