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A person's life depends on his/her personality. Agree or disagree?

A person's life depends on his/her personality. Agree or disagree? yX7PD
This essay is about the person's life, and how it depends on their own personality. In this essay we will discuss about various factors like how they related and to what extent we agree or disagree. Nowadays it's very common in many people blaming their luck, to hide and cover their personality. Firstly, in the era of 21 century life is very challenging, and there are great challenges in everyday lives. For example, to live better lives for all necessary amenities individuals should word hard, either they are studying or in professional life in barely needed to achieve their goals, which is totally in our hands to fulfil our dreams. Especially when we are in competition with many around us. Furthermore, not limited to personality only' the right direction and correct career path are also an important factor to proceed further, to make sure that we are on the right side. Although, being successful doesn't mean we are very intelligent or expert in our domain, there are several elements associated with our personalities and successful life. In further explanation, I would like to quote an example, some people are born into successful families, and they could have everything what common people desire to have. So, it's very controversial and significant to understand, our life is not only dependent on personality. In conclusion, the personality of a person provides an accurate description of their character. In my understanding, the personality is the only reason, which can be presented as an excuse on life. Each person in the world, have distinguished personality and unique capabilities to live.
This essay is about the person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and how it depends on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
. In this essay we will
Did you mean simply "discuss various"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about various
factors like how they related and to what extent we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree. Nowadays it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
blaming their luck, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
and cover their personality.

Firstly
, in the era of
Did you mean "21st century"?
21 century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging, and there are great challenges in everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For example
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
for all necessary amenities individuals should word
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, either they are studying or in professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
barely
needed to achieve their goals, which is
totally
in our hands to fulfil our dreams.
Especially
when we are in competition with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
around us.
Furthermore
, not limited to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
' the right direction and correct career path are
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor to proceed
further
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that we are on the right side.

Although, being successful doesn't mean we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
intelligent or expert in our domain, there are several elements associated with our personalities and successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In
further
explanation, I would like to quote an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are born
into successful families, and they could have everything what common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
desire to have.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
controversial and significant to understand, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
dependent on personality.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
of a person provides an accurate description of their character. In my understanding, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason, which can
be presented
as an excuse on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Each person in the world, have distinguished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
and unique capabilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
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IELTS essay A person's life depends on his/her personality. Agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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