Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People think that good health is a basic needso it should not be in hands of profit-orientedcompanies. Are the advantages of profit-oriented companies overweight thedisadvantages?

People think that good health is a basic needso it should not be in hands of profit-orientedcompanies. Are the advantages of profit-oriented companies overweight thedisadvantages? GMWxL
It is universally acknowledged that ''health is wealth''. Presently, companies are manufacturing products for grinding their own axes instead of caring about comforts of people. Thus, it is argued that people need to be careful regarding products of profit oriented companies those might be harmful for their health. Here, I would like to establish advantages of such companies outweigh disadvantages. There are multifarious pros of such companies. First and foremost, in this competitive era, every company is trying to serve superior goods than others in order to earn name and fame along with financial prosperity. As a result, people are benefited through products with extraordinary features to ulift quality of life. Besides this, people are well educated and advanced who know about consumer rights of taking legal actions in case of any mishappening. Hence, companies do not want to afford any risk by dissatisfying to customers. Consequently, efforts of companies to make people happier deserve appreciation. Further emphasizing on my point of view, Multi-national companies are contributing remarkably to boost the economies of countries worldwide. To be specific, import and export of goods are on the rise to fullfil needs of people in every corner of world. Hence, products made of international corporate are trustworthy in entire globe. Last but not least, a survey conducted by times of India pharmaceutical companies, cosmetic manufacturers and food industries have surely upgraded the living standard of people. By contrast, some negative of such companies can be mentioned as well. Intially, nowadays, some manufactures are money minded who only think about their own benefits. Therefore, they produce inferior products which prove perilous for human health. Apart from it, edible products are spicy, salty, oily and made in unhygienic conditions and therefore people are encountering obesity, lower blood pressure so on. Hence, health standard is at alarming rate due to profit oriented commercial authorities. To recapitulate, governments of all countries should impose restrictions over manufacturing of inferior products to prevent health of people.
It is
universally
acknowledged that ''health is wealth''.
Presently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for grinding their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
axes
instead
of caring about comforts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, it
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to be careful regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of profit oriented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
those might be harmful for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Here, I would like to establish advantages of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
outweigh disadvantages.

There are multifarious pros of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
First
and foremost, in this competitive era, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is trying to serve superior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
than others in order to earn name and fame along with financial prosperity.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are benefited
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with extraordinary features to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ulift
quality of life.
Besides
this,

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
and advanced who know about consumer rights of taking legal actions in case of any
Possible spelling mistake found.
mishappening
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do not want to afford any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
by dissatisfying to customers.
Consequently
, efforts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happier deserve appreciation.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
emphasizing on my point of view, Multi-national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are contributing
remarkably
to boost the economies of countries worldwide. To be specific, import and export of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are on the rise to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfil
needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in every corner of world.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
made of international corporate are trustworthy in entire globe. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, a survey conducted by times of India pharmaceutical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, cosmetic manufacturers and food industries have
surely
upgraded the living standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By contrast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
be mentioned
as well
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Intially
, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
manufactures are money minded who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits.
Therefore
, they produce inferior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which prove perilous for human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Apart from it, edible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are spicy, salty, oily and made in unhygienic conditions and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encountering obesity, lower blood pressure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
standard is at alarming rate due to profit oriented commercial authorities.

To recapitulate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of all countries should impose restrictions over manufacturing of inferior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay People think that good health is a basic needso it should not be in hands of profit-orientedcompanies. Are the advantages of profit-oriented companies overweight thedisadvantages?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • People think that good health is a basic needso it should not be in hands of profit-orientedcompanies. Are the advantages of profit-oriented companies overweight thedisadvantages?