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Nowadays people are using new electronic equipments. Do you think it is a positive or negative development

Nowadays people are using new electronic equipments. Do you think it is a positive or negative development KGjA0
Advancement of technology has led to innovation of new high-tech devices. Owing to this, consumption of these gadgets is soaring drastically and impacting in a ample of ways. While the latest equipments have some advantages, I firmly believe that it has considerable harmful effects. Utilization of new equipments can be a boon as they help in completing the work efficiently and effectively. To explain more, fewer errors are observed while using the new gadgets. To exemplify, in big MNC's it is suggested to update machineries such as computers every year to keep the performance top-notch whereas, if it is not done, then companies might face loss or delays due to frozen computers or viruses. Besides, the life of people would also become easy since all the tedious tasks are performed by machines. To support, people will be able to focus on things of their interest, that as a result, would enhance their productivity. It is true that use of brand new equipments are disadvantagoeus since it encourages consumerism. What is more, whenever a new model of equipment is launched, people tend to buy it for show off, instead of, using their old one's. For instance, every year Apple Inc. launches a new model and people buy it foolishly. As a consequence, it not only adds up to landfill waste but also engender pollution as the electronics are non-biodegradeable products and emits dangerous radiations. As per a news by Times of India, 45% of the waste dumped every year consist of equipments that has deadly influence on the beings living around. To conclude, everyday innovation of electronics is evolutionizing everyone's life positively. Nevertheless, addiction of new equipments can are detrimental to not only humans but also to entire ecosystem. It is suggested that people should spend their money wisely on the newly launched gadgets.
Advancement of technology has led to innovation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
high-tech devices. Owing to this, consumption of these gadgets is soaring
drastically
and impacting in
The phrase 'a ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a ample of
ways. While the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, I
firmly
believe that it has considerable harmful effects.

Utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
can be a boon as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in completing the work
efficiently
and
effectively
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
more, fewer errors
are observed
while using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
gadgets. To exemplify, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNC
's it
is suggested
to update
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
such as computers every year to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the performance top-notch whereas, if it is not done, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
might face loss or delays due to frozen computers or viruses.
Besides
, the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
also
become easy since all the tedious tasks
are performed
by machines. To support,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to focus on things of their interest, that
as a result
, would enhance their productivity.

It is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadvantagoeus
since it encourages consumerism.
What is more
, whenever a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
model of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
is launched
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off,
instead
of, using their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one's.
For instance
, every year Apple Inc. launches a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
model and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it
foolishly
. As a consequence, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
up to landfill waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
engender pollution as the electronics are
Possible spelling mistake found.
non-biodegradeable
products and emits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
radiations. As per a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
by Times of India, 45% of the waste dumped every year consist of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
that has deadly influence on the beings living around.

To conclude
, everyday innovation of electronics is
Possible spelling mistake found.
evolutionizing
everyone's life
positively
.
Nevertheless
, addiction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipments
can are detrimental to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to entire ecosystem. It
is suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend their money
wisely
on the
newly
launched gadgets.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people are using new electronic equipments. Do you think it is a positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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