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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: "people tend to be happier when there is low income inequality". Write an essay about 350 words to discuss about that idea.

: "people tend to be happier when there is low income inequality". Write an essay about 350 words to discuss about that idea. QM3bL
In today’s world, most governments are sharing great concern about income equality. When this issue comes into view, there exist many conflicting opinions. It is said that people will be happier if they live in a world with low income inequality. From my point of view, I am utterly convinced by this view. First and foremost, income inequality is the main reason that makes many people fall into poverty. To be more specific, the jealousy effect suggests that, when income inequality is high, individuals tend to be unhappy because they are jealous of their wealthier peers. Hence, they may tend to spend more attempting to keep their living standards the same as their friends. To put it in another way, they will spend more money on unnecessary things. For example, they could buy a new phone which is just to show off their wealth with their friends in spite of the fact that the old one can still be used. For this reason, people with lower incomes may be forced to borrow to maintain their consumption levels at the same point as their friends, which may result in high levels of debt. Consequently, they may be at risk of getting into poverty owing to the amount of money they spend for that reason. In addition, income inequality is linked to the adverse effect on the economy which is one of the most essential factors to make people live happier. To clarify, employees’ productivity is affected by whether they believe their pay to be fair. That means if they are paid unfairly, their productivity will decrease and that also makes them less committed to their work. Another thing to add is that income inequality leads to the lower wage of many people. It is an undeniable fact that employees’ productivity is further lowered if their pay is low enough that they are struggling to afford their basic needs. This happens because people living with scarcity devote a portion of their mental energy to dealing with this problem, which they could otherwise use to pay attention to their work. Finally, economic development may be inhibited by a decrease in productivity. Given the aforementioned points, it may be concluded that income inequality may cause poverty in human life and the slowdown of the economy. As a result, it is obvious that people will live happier if the income inequality is lower.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are sharing great concern about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
equality. When this issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
into view, there exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conflicting opinions. It
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be happier if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world with low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
. From my point of view, I am
utterly
convinced by this view.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
is the main reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fall into poverty. To be more specific, the jealousy effect suggests that, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
is high, individuals tend to be unhappy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are jealous of their wealthier peers.
Hence
, they may tend to spend more attempting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their living standards the same as their friends. To put it in another way, they will spend more money on unnecessary things.
For example
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new phone which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their wealth with their friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one can
still
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
may
be forced
to borrow to maintain their consumption levels at the same point as their friends, which may result in high levels of debt.
Consequently
, they may be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of getting into poverty owing to the amount of money they spend for that reason.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
is linked
to the adverse effect on the economy which is one of the most essential factors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happier. To clarify, employees’ productivity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by whether they believe their pay to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
. That means if they
are paid
unfairly
, their productivity will decrease and that
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them less committed to their work. Another thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
leads to the lower wage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is an undeniable fact that employees’ productivity is
further
lowered if their pay is low
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
that they are struggling to afford their basic needs. This happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living with scarcity devote a portion of their mental energy to dealing with this problem, which they could
otherwise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to pay attention to their work.
Finally
, economic development may
be inhibited
by a decrease in productivity.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the aforementioned points, it may
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
may cause poverty in human life and the slowdown of the economy.
As a result
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happier if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
is lower.
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IELTS essay : "people tend to be happier when there is low income inequality". Write an essay about 350 words to discuss about that idea.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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