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Some people live with their parents for a long time. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Some people live with their parents for a long time. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? 1mQxy
Many people spend a lot of time living with their parents. Despite some obvious advantages of this trend, I believe that these are outweighed by the disadvantages when you were an adult. On the one hand, there are a number of major benefits when people live with their parents for a long time. The first positive is that they do not need to cook because their mother will cook for them a lot of delicious and nutritious food. Some people who live without their parents do not have time to cook, so they have to eat out or eat anything convenient for them, such as fast food, takeaway food, etc. , but it really harms their health. Another positive effect is that the person living with their parents does not think a lot about economics. Their parents are willing to pay a lot of bills, such as electricity, food and drink, clothes, . . . Therefore, living with parents spends less money than living without parents. On the other hand, I believe that the drawbacks are more significant than the advantages when they were adults. First and foremost, people who spend their whole life living with their parents are more likely to be dependent because they get used to thinking their parents will help them and have no idea how to solve this problem. As a result, their lives will become passive without their own opinions. Secondly, they cannot take care of themselves without their parents' help. They are used to having their parents take care of everything, but when living alone, it is difficult to take care of themselves. In conclusion, I would argue that living with parents for a long time brings more disadvantages than advantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious advantages of this trend, I believe that these
are outweighed
by the disadvantages when you were an adult.

On the one hand, there are a number of major benefits when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
is that they do not need to cook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their mother will cook for them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of delicious and nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not have
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time
to cook,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
eat out or eat anything convenient for them, such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, takeaway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
really
harms their health. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect is that the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
about economics. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are willing to pay a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of bills, such as electricity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and drink, clothes
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spends less money than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
without parents.

On the other hand
, I believe that the drawbacks are more significant than the advantages when they were adults.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend their whole life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more likely to be dependent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to thinking their
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parents
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them and have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
how to solve this problem.
As a result
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
will become passive without their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinions.
Secondly
, they cannot take care of themselves without their parents'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to having their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take care of everything,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone, it is difficult to take care of themselves.

In conclusion
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
brings more disadvantages than advantages.
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IELTS essay Some people live with their parents for a long time. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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