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In some countries an increasing number of children are overweight as a result of eating too much fast food. It is necessary for governments to ban selling this kind of food in schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries an increasing number of children are overweight as a result of eating too much fast food. It is necessary for governments to ban selling this kind of food in schools. with this opinion? 7DDk
These days the problem of obesity is increasing at an alarming rate, not just in adults, but it can be seen in children too. Along with many other reasons, availability of fast food in school canteens could be one of the causes. I agree that governments must help by intervening; despite this measure, I don't believe a long-term solution can be found to the issue at hand. In school, children spend their most critical years, the growing age. So, this is where they should be provided with all the good things, and healthy food is as important as any other facilities offered by the school. Junk food like burgers, fries, and the like should be banned from schools, and healthy food should not be just an option. In fact, if started at an early age, children would inculcate the right food habits in them, and not have to learn it at a later stage in their lives. However, this onus can not be only on the government and schools alone, parents must also help children with this awareness outside of school. With increasing demand for fast food, today, it is available just about everywhere. Above all we choose to eat it at home too. This is where the adults need to set an example. Children need to be made aware that junk food is not a correct choice for a healthy lifestyle. At home, with guidance from parents, a child must learn to acquire taste for home-cooked meals, salads, and fresh fruits. Consequently, when the young ones will step out independently, they will make a healthy decision even when fast food would be available at every nook and cranny. To conclude, although I agree that government must restrict schools from allowing availability of fast food in the school cafeteria, the responsibility must be shared by parents as well. In a nutshell, being overweight in children is becoming a serious problem, therefore important measures must be taken. A simple step of making children aware of the dangers of obesity can be the right place to begin.
These days the problem of obesity is increasing at an alarming rate, not
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just
in adults,
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but
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
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children
too. Along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other reasons, availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
canteens could be one of the causes. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by intervening; despite this measure, I don't believe a long-term solution can
be found
to the issue at hand.

In
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school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend their most critical years, the growing age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this is where they should
be provided
with all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as any other facilities offered by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like burgers, fries, and the like should
be banned
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an option. In fact, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at an early age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would inculcate the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habits in them, and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn it at a later stage in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, this onus can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
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schools
alone, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with this awareness outside of school.

With increasing demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, it is available
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about everywhere.
Above all
we choose to eat it at home too. This is where the adults need to set an example.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
need to
be made
aware that junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not a correct choice for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle. At home, with guidance from parents, a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn to acquire taste for home-cooked meals, salads, and fresh fruits.
Consequently
, when the young ones will step out
independently
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
decision even when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would be available at every nook and cranny.

To conclude
, although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
from allowing availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
cafeteria, the responsibility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be shared
by parents
as well
. In a nutshell, being overweight in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is becoming a serious problem,
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
. A simple step of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of obesity can be the right place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
.
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IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of children are overweight as a result of eating too much fast food. It is necessary for governments to ban selling this kind of food in schools. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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