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People spend a lot of money on various things as they earn more money nowadays than before.

People spend a lot of money on various things as they earn more money nowadays than before. gROd
Nowadays, people earn more money than a year ago. That is why they spend lots of money on any kind of things. In my opinion, it is a negative development for them. These days’ people spend their salary, money for useless things, which leads to very big problems in society. They bought them to show their financial stability among the community or friends, thereby getting the status. Another reason which makes people not avoid their products are various options and enticing advertisement. Having looked at the enticing advertisement, people without any thought go to buy this probably useless product. Before people spend their money smart because they do not have this opportunity, they spend it on necessary nutritious food such as bread, tea, and rice. Now people have a strong requirement due to the development of economics. Nevertheless, it is a negative development for the environment and people around. While people still buy unhealthy food, their health will deteriorate. For example, a person did not go into the fresh air for a month and decided to have a snack on unhealthy food by calling a courier. There is something to be said about the middle-income family. If a person has not a large salary, and he or she sees something expensive from a neighbor, it will lead them to buy something to be on a par. Also, many people prefer to buy something expensive like a cruise ship, golden car or exotic animal or ancient artifacts, but they never use them because they lose their interest in the items, and it is a real personal problem. In conclusion, it seems to me that before people were smarter to spend them on essential things than nowadays when people cannot make the right decision to buy something.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than a year ago.
That is
why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on any kind of things. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development for them.

These days’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their salary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for useless things, which leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problems in society. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their financial stability among the community or friends, thereby getting the status. Another reason which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not avoid their products are various options and enticing advertisement. Having looked at the enticing advertisement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
this
probably
useless product.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
smart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have this opportunity, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
it on necessary nutritious food such as bread, tea, and rice.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a strong requirement due to the development of economics.

Nevertheless
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development for the environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unhealthy food, their health will deteriorate.
For example
, a person did not go into the fresh air for a month and decided to have a snack on unhealthy food by calling a courier. There is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
to
be said
about the middle-income family. If a person has not a large salary, and he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
expensive from a neighbor, it will lead them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
to be on a par.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
expensive like a cruise ship, golden car or exotic animal or ancient artifacts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lose their interest in the items, and it is a real personal problem.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were smarter to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
them on essential things than nowadays when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right decision to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
.
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IELTS essay People spend a lot of money on various things as they earn more money nowadays than before.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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