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In many countries,an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video game.to what extent do you agree or disagree

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video game. dMeP
The accelerating rate of crime has been attributed to the exposure of people to violent programs on electronic media such as computer and video games in most part of the world. However, I personally disagree that exposure to social media is not a sole reason for the upward trend in crime. Bad parenting and Faulty correctional government policy are mostly responsible for the rising rate of crime. Admittedly, Violent images on television and all other electronic media contribute to the increased rate of crime. Due to the modern day technology, people are exposed to various Television programs, channels, station and websites that could affect their good morals. For example, children who watches wrestling programs are liable to test the wrestling skills on their friends in school. However, with the advance technology such channels can be blocked to reduce it's negative impact. Parenting is a fundamental aspect of every human life. The attributes and behaviour exhibited by most people are cultivated during their formative years. People exposed to abusive background are likely to be violent and commit crime in the society. For instance, A child who is brought up by drug barons is likely to grow to become a drug addict in the future. Consequently, Faulty parental background which has been a persistent issue contributed immensely to the crime rate. Another major reason for high trend of crime is the wrong correctional governmental policies for offenders. Most of the correctional homes for criminals are not educative and reformative for the criminals. Criminals are overcrowded and some of the less hardened criminals are mixed with hardened criminals who influenced them in a negative way. For example, in some countries criminals are not separated according to the degree of their crime thereby corrupted the less hardened ones before completing their terms. Faulty correctional policy most times result to a sophisticated method of commiting crime in the society. In conclusion, Video games and violent images on computer screen and television has an input in crime but not majorly responsible for the high trend of crime. Crimes are majorly fueled by bad parenting and Faulty correctional policies.
The accelerating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has
been attributed
to the exposure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
programs on electronic media such as computer and video games in most part of the world.
However
, I
personally
disagree that exposure to social media is not a sole reason for the upward trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Bad
parenting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Faulty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
correctional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
are
mostly
responsible for the rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Violent
images on television and all other electronic media contribute to the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Due to the modern day technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are exposed
to various Television programs, channels, station and websites that could affect their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
morals.
For example
, children who
Did you mean "watch"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'children' should be used.
watches
wrestling programs are liable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the wrestling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
on their friends in school.
However
, with the advance technology such channels can
be blocked
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact. Parenting is a fundamental aspect of every human life. The attributes and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
exhibited by most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are cultivated
during their formative years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
exposed to abusive background are likely to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
and commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the society.
For instance
, A child who
is brought
up by drug barons is likely to grow to become a drug addict in the future.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Faulty
parental background which has been a persistent issue contributed
immensely
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. Another major reason for high trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
correctional
governmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
for offenders. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
correctional
homes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are not educative and reformative for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminals
are overcrowded
and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
less hardened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are mixed
with hardened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who influenced them in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are not separated according to the degree of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
thereby corrupted the less hardened ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
completing their terms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Faulty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
correctional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
most times result to a sophisticated method of
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the society.
In conclusion
, Video games and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
images on computer screen and television has an input in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
majorly
responsible for the high trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crimes
are
majorly
fueled by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
parenting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Faulty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
correctional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
.
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IELTS essay In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video game.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
352 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
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    Present relevant ideas
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