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people should live in the countryside and not cities because this will improve their lives. How much do you agree with this opinion and why?

people should live in the countryside and not cities because this will improve their lives. How much do you agree with this opinion and why? p1G9m
Over the last half century, the world's population has been increasing dramatically. Therefore, most of people have to move contryside. They have many reasons to live contrysideor small village. Some people think that this situation brings lots of problem, but others think that it is necessary for humanity. In this essay I will shed some things causes of my opinion. Firstly, I think people, espcialy parents, should live in a cozy village. Because, they can find many apportunites for their children. So I firmly agree this idea. If the world population increase people have many problemsin their life. One of them children education is effected because of unemployment. It means, parents will not have any budged for their child. So it will be changed our life style. Secondly, cities which have many people live inside, will consume their natural resources. In this case, it will brings starving. In addition to, these cities will change as poor cities. People, who lives a poor and crowded city, suffer a miserable life. But family is the rol model of their child. Children generally look up to their fathers or mothers. And also children try to resemble to their parents. If they feel nervous, probably they will grow up their child with unhappiness live. So, goverments should encourage their citizens to live countryside. They will find a solution to solve their life problems. I once again reaffirm my position that, to live in the countryside has have a huge impact our lives. People can improve their job skills and their children can find many things to save their educational life.
Over the last half century, the world's population has been increasing
dramatically
.
Therefore
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
Possible spelling mistake found.
contryside
. They have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
Possible spelling mistake found.
contrysideor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this situation brings
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of problems".
lots of problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is necessary for humanity. In this essay I will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things causes of my opinion.
Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
espcialy
parents, should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a cozy village.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, they can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
apportunites
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the world population increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
problemsin
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. One of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
education
is effected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unemployment. It means, parents will not have any budged for their child.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
inside, will consume their natural resources.
In this case
, it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "bring"
brings
starving.
In addition
to, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
as poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
a poor and crowded city, suffer a miserable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
family is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
rol
model of their child.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
generally
look up to their fathers or mothers. And
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try to resemble to their parents. If they feel nervous,
probably
they will grow up their child with unhappiness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverments
should encourage their citizens to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
countryside. They will find a solution to solve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
problems. I once again reaffirm my position that, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the countryside has
Use past participle here: "had".
have
a huge impact our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to save their educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay people should live in the countryside and not cities because this will improve their lives. How much do you agree with this opinion and why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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