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people' shopping habits depend on age group they belong to than any other factor. to what extend do you agree or disagree

people' shopping habits depend on age group they belong to than any other factor. 7ar5X
Nowadays shopping is becoming increasingly popular. It is said that culture of purchasing something mainly relay on ages of people rather than any other elements. This essay, therefore, presents my strong agreement principally due to what is seen in today’s context. Great many intellectuals table a discussion about age to be influential factor resulting in shopping habits of people. Primarily, it is clear that group of people tend to buy product which are considered appropriate to their age group. For instance, children between6 to 12 would like to possess toys, whereas teenagers have interest on electronic devices and working adults prefer fashionable clothes. According to recent research, young generations are ready to try fashionable attires, on the contrary old people choose comfort. Apart from this, can one ignore that grandparents are strictly against online marketing system rather they enjoy old-fashioned one which is visit to shops? , however new generation are likely to shop online because of their hectic schedule. Hence, age range plays is vital role in bargaining and inspecting the goods. On other hand, plethora of people denies this notion due to the fact that gender and financial status is other underestimated factors. First of all, if women and men had to make choice between clothes, both would probably opt for different price range. To give clear example, women, on average, pay 8% more than male do, said a shopkeeper in an interview. Another striking factor is financial capacity, provided that the rich have to shop, they will visit supermarket with –branded wardrobe –calories-free-foods, however, middle-class are fine with local market. In other word, lifestyle and monthly earning affects people’s choices. Further, emphasizing my point of view, family status along with profession determines an individual choice. In conclusion, shopping habits are influenced by which age group one belongs to and lifestyle.
Nowadays shopping is becoming
increasingly
popular. It
is said
that culture of purchasing something
mainly
relay on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
elements. This essay,
therefore
, presents my strong agreement
principally
due to what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s context.

Great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
intellectuals table a discussion about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to be influential factor resulting in shopping habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Primarily
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
product which
are considered
appropriate to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group.
For instance
, children between6 to 12 would like to possess toys, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have interest on electronic devices and working adults prefer fashionable clothes. According to recent research, young generations are ready to try fashionable attires,
on the contrary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose comfort. Apart from this, can one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
that grandparents are
strictly
against online marketing system
rather
they enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned one which is visit to shops?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
however
new generation are likely to shop online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their hectic schedule.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range plays is vital role in bargaining and inspecting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
denies this notion due to the fact that gender and financial status is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
underestimated factors.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choice between clothes, both would
probably
opt for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
price range. To give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, women, on average, pay 8% more than male do, said a shopkeeper in an interview. Another striking factor is financial capacity, provided that the rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
shop, they will visit supermarket with –branded wardrobe –calories-free-foods,
however
, middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
are fine with local market. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
word, lifestyle and monthly earning affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
choices.
Further
, emphasizing my point of view, family status along with profession determines an individual choice.

In conclusion
, shopping habits
are influenced
by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group one belongs to and lifestyle.
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IELTS essay people' shopping habits depend on age group they belong to than any other factor.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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