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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent world, augmented utilization of technology allowed observing people’s activities about which they are completely unknown. This essay will demonstrate how such monitoring can control criminal activities but also will show that this can lead to such problems as loosing privacy. Whilst acknowledging that there are drawbacks, the essay will argue that the merits of spying individuals outweigh the disadvantages. One of the major advantage is reduction in the rate of illegal activities. By tracing one’s gadgets can give access to watch their inappropriate actions which could be terminated before execution by the aid of local police. A good example of a city that is taking full advantage of such technology is Texas. Regions that were once dominated by culprit activities are now much under control of local cops. Furthermore, it also provided additional security to citizens by keeping an eye on their homes and working places. In China, for instance, the rate of stealing money and heist dramatically dropped by 70% after using such technological supports. However, on the flip-side, excessive monitoring of an individual could led to some issues. One of the most alarming of these is exposing private life of a person. By using the same means someone can blackmail others and demand money not to disclose their personal movements. To exemplify this, one recent news article revealed that local police threatened some families to forcefully gain some advantage of their situation in Russia. Hence, it is also required to keep away such technological facilities from the thieves and criminals. To conclude, although unprotected use of monitoring technologies can result into increase in transparency of people, it greatly lowers down the rate of local crimes. Therefore, the positive effects of such spying technology definitely outweigh the pitfalls.
In recent world, augmented utilization of
technology
allowed
observing
people
’s
activities
about which they are completely unknown. This essay will demonstrate how such monitoring can control criminal
activities
but
also
will
show
that this can lead to such problems as loosing privacy. Whilst acknowledging that there are drawbacks, the essay will argue that the merits of spying individuals outweigh the disadvantages.

One of the major advantage is reduction in the rate of illegal
activities
. By tracing one’s gadgets can give access to
watch
their inappropriate actions which could
be terminated
before
execution by the aid of
local
police. A
good
example of a city
that is
taking full advantage of such
technology
is Texas. Regions that were once dominated by culprit
activities
are
now
much under control of
local
cops.
Furthermore
, it
also
provided additional security to citizens by keeping an eye on their homes and working places. In China,
for instance
, the rate of stealing money and heist
dramatically
dropped by 70% after using such technological supports.

However
, on the flip-side, excessive monitoring of an individual could
led
to
some
issues. One of the most alarming of these is exposing private life of a person. By using the same means someone can blackmail others and demand money not to disclose their personal movements. To exemplify this, one recent news article revealed that
local
police threatened
some
families to
forcefully
gain
some
advantage of their situation in Russia.
Hence
, it is
also
required to
keep
away such technological facilities from the thieves and criminals.

To conclude
, although unprotected
use
of monitoring
technologies
can result into increase in transparency of
people
, it
greatly
lowers down the rate of
local
crimes.
Therefore
, the
positive
effects of such spying
technology
definitely outweigh the pitfalls.
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IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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