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people nowaday are having too much choices do you agree or disagree

people nowaday are having too much choices Pqbp
Following up with the development of the society, people are now having more options to decide besides the basics for humankind survival requires. Personally, I agree with this statement. In our day, there are many more options to choose in different fields like food, transportation, accomodation and even education. First of all, people are now extremely creative which can come up with plenty of new designs by day. Only in the food industry, humankind is now able to combine all the cuisine from many regions and create a brand new disk within less than a day. The variety of the ingredients are uncountable and with the brand new technique and technology, we can now export the food with a high amount. Second of all, with the help of new high-technology in transportation, people are now able to have more opportunity to access with many options in many places in the world. According to the desire of humankind, we are having a trend to find the best opportunity to develop our-self but also still need to be affordable so there can be trouble where there are too many important decisions that need to be made. There are some draw-back of the development in technology is that the prices of many basic human products can be too expensive for many middle class families and lower class families. In many fields, there are now unequal treatment between people having money and not. For example the medical background, people who can afford the expensive services will be priorities which does not depend on how sick they are but on how affordable they are. That leads to the fact that many people are ignorant because they aren’t able to pay with high-cost. In conclusion, having more options should make their life more enjoyable. However, there are some unequal sites to many people who can’t afford general need.
Following up with the development of the society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
to decide
besides
the basics for humankind survival requires.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

In our day, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
to choose in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields like food, transportation,
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
and even education.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
extremely
creative which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
designs by day.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
in the food industry, humankind is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
able to combine all the cuisine from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions and create a brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
disk within less than a day. The variety of the ingredients are uncountable and with the brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technique and technology, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
export the food with a high amount. Second of all, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
high-technology in transportation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
able to have more opportunity to access with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places in the world. According to the desire of humankind, we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a trend to find the best opportunity to develop our-self
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
still
need to be affordable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there can be trouble where there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions that need to
be made
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
draw-back of the development in technology is that the prices of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
basic human products can be too expensive for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families and lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
unequal treatment between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
money and not.
For example
the medical background,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can afford the expensive services will be priorities which does not depend on how sick they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on how affordable they are. That leads to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ignorant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they aren’t able to pay with high-cost.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life more enjoyable.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unequal sites to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can’t afford general need.
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IELTS essay people nowaday are having too much choices

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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