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People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? mJb8
Cutting-edge technology changing around our lifestyle and going to shifting communication or transportation. Although there are a few merits, to which we should not turn a blind eye, I, by and large, feel that the number of disadvantages is higher than that of the advantages. On the plus side, there are some advantages for the people flocking to these spots. To begin with, in case of staying in our country given monetary issues. Reducing communication leads save more money in the government budget which is bringing about more facilities in the country. Simply put, make ends meet could equal or even leads to make a profit for them. boosting technology have some countless impact. For instance, at a glance city life turn to fast-paced and eliminate some of the further process reasoning of advanced technology. Also reducing the pollution is one of the benefits have. However, traveling to these places has serious consequences/could have countless harms/disadvantages. The most axiomatic argument is business trips have several consequences. Cultural assimilation for people traveling to another land may be impaired. That is to say, cross-cultural exchanges between newcomers and society lead to cultural shocks or even worst cultural lag. A good illustration of this is rating norms in boomtown are approximately zero percent. Because, people invasion to these lands for facilities are getting up, wax lyrical for acquiring money and turn blind on them. On the other hand, people gathering in another country and evacuating somewhere is not the right decision. To conclude, regardless of benefits, given the situation advanced technology, communication and transportation always is not a good way. Every land has a cultural specificity and due to looking out for them, cultural exchanges have some outcomes for us as assimilation had.
Cutting-edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
changing around our lifestyle and going to shifting communication or transportation. Although there are a few merits, to which we should not turn a blind eye, I, by and large, feel that the number of disadvantages is higher than that of the advantages.

On the plus side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
flocking to these spots. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in case of staying in our country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
monetary issues. Reducing communication leads save more money in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget which is bringing about more facilities in the country.
Simply
put,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
could equal or even leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit for them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
boosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countless impact.
For instance
, at a glance city life turn to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced and eliminate
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
further
process reasoning of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Also
reducing the pollution is one of the benefits have.

However
, traveling to these places has serious consequences/could have countless harms/disadvantages. The most axiomatic argument is business trips have several consequences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cultural
assimilation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
traveling to another land may
be impaired
.
That is
to say, cross-cultural exchanges between newcomers and society lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
shocks or even
A determiner is probably missing here: "the worst".
worst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
lag. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is rating norms in boomtown are approximately zero percent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
invasion to these lands for facilities are getting up, wax lyrical for acquiring money and turn blind on them.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gathering in another country and evacuating somewhere is not the right decision.

To conclude
, regardless of benefits,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the situation advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, communication and transportation always is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way. Every land has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
specificity and due to looking out for them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
exchanges have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
outcomes for us as assimilation had.

IELTS essay People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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