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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example through cell phone tracking and secretary cameras).In many cases, people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example through cell phone tracking and secretary cameras). In many cases, people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? 6X6G
In this 21st century, science and technology plays an important role in the development of a nation. People's craze for technology is increased over the past few years. At present, technology is hugely being utilized to look over watch people are speaking and practicing. There are both merits and demerits of this advancement. So I will conclude both advantages and disadvantages in this essay. I personally, think that this technology is playing a vital role in controlling and controlling people from committing crime. Comparatively, the crime rate have decreased due to the development of new technology. Few years back, it was quite impossible to catch criminals like kidnappers, thief, terrorist etc. but since the technology of phone tracking have been emerged it is easy to arrest such criminals. Many security cameras have been installed in public places, banks industries etc. which provides a kind of safety for people as everyone is being monitored. Many years back, when there was no phone tracking technology, people used to get bluff calls which results in people health issue such as depression, frustration and anxiety etc. but now does block calls can be easily traced with the help of new innovation. However, some people think that it is not good to be monitored without the consultation of the authorised person and due to this innovations people are deprived of their personal secrecy. All in all, there are quite more advantages of new technology than the disadvantages. Technology to bring harmony and unity in the country.
In this 21st century, science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the development of a nation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's craze for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is increased
over the past few years. At present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
hugely
being utilized
to look over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are speaking and practicing. There are both merits and demerits of this advancement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I will conclude both advantages and disadvantages in this essay.

I
personally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is playing a vital role in controlling and controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from committing crime.
Comparatively
, the crime rate have decreased due to the development of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Few years back, it was quite impossible to catch criminals like kidnappers, thief, terrorist etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
of phone tracking have
been emerged
it is easy to arrest such criminals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
security cameras have
been installed
in public places, banks industries etc. which provides a kind of safety for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as everyone is
being monitored
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
years back, when there was no phone tracking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bluff calls which results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
health issue such as depression, frustration and anxiety etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
does block calls can be
easily
traced with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of new innovation.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
be monitored
without the consultation of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'authorised' is British English.
authorised
person and due to this innovations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are deprived
of their personal secrecy.

All in all, there are quite more advantages of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
than the disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
to bring harmony and unity in the country.
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IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example through cell phone tracking and secretary cameras). In many cases, people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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