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people moving to the cities

people moving to the cities 9axMw
Nowadays, with the growing desire for a better life, more and more people are moving to the city without acknowledging the unfortunate consequences for themselves and the city. The risk of fast urban growth is that the necessary infrastructure often cannot expand fast enough to keep up with residents’ needs. Without infrastructures in place to provide basic needs, residents can be forced to live in slums and create their provisions with whatever is available. Densely populated slums, which form both on the edges and within the city, appear to have deadly conditions with practically no sanitation, water, urban amenities, security, and too close physical proximity for infectious diseases. When combined with environmental problems from the burning of trash, disposal of waste, and deterioration of urban landscape, these issues create a poor quality of life for dwellers, which desires urgent measurements from the Government. There appear some solutions that are worth considering. One long-term solution is to replace industrial parks in the suburb, which offers a great amount of land for the construction of both factories and residential areas. The living expense in such regions is more affordable for low-income residents, which attracts more people to this area. Besides, it is an opportunity for the city to expand and build up more infrastructures. Furthermore, Government should upgrade transportation in the rural areas for people to get a smooth commute and save themselves a bit of money. In conclusion, I think overurbanization is threatening not only humans but also the environment. It seems to me that the aforementioned solutions are worth considering.
Nowadays, with the growing desire for a better life, more and more
people
are moving to the city without acknowledging the unfortunate consequences for themselves and the city.

The
risk
of
fast
urban growth is that the necessary infrastructure
often
cannot expand
fast
enough
to
keep
up with residents’ needs. Without infrastructures in place to provide basic needs, residents can
be forced
to
live
in slums and create their provisions with whatever is available.
Densely
populated slums, which form both on the edges and within the city, appear to have deadly conditions with
practically
no sanitation, water, urban amenities, security, and too close physical proximity for infectious diseases. When combined with environmental problems from the burning of trash, disposal of waste, and deterioration of urban landscape, these issues create a poor quality of life for dwellers, which desires urgent measurements from the
Government
.

There appear
some
solutions that are worth considering. One long-term solution is to replace industrial parks in the suburb, which offers a great amount of land for the construction of both factories and residential areas. The living expense in such regions is more affordable for low-income residents, which attracts more
people
to this area.
Besides
, it is an opportunity for the city to expand and build up more infrastructures.
Furthermore
,
Government
should upgrade transportation in the rural areas for
people
to
get
a smooth commute and save themselves a bit of money.

In conclusion
, I
think
overurbanization
is threatening not
only
humans
but
also
the environment. It seems to me that the aforementioned solutions are worth considering.
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IELTS essay people moving to the cities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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