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people in the future will be unhealthier than people nowadays or not

people in the future will be unhealthier than people nowadays or not 3GGN
Recently, there is a question of whether people in the future will be unhealthier than people nowadays or not. Personally, I firmly believe that people's heath standard will increasingly decrease to the point that is lower than it is now. This is occurring because of consumption of unhealthy food and neglecting to take care of themselves. Firstly, it seems to me that people increasingly eat unhealthy food nowadays and it would continue to be like this in the future as well. Since people have no time to prepare good and fresh food to eat by themselves, they have to buy prepared food from grocery stores or restaurants instead. Besides, it is undeniable that prepared food from grocery stores are usually made from bad and non-fresh ingredients that can negatively affect our bodies. For example, in the process of making prepared food of 7-11, which is a very famous grocery store in Thailand, the rice has to be cooked with oil in order to maintain its softness. Apart from the issue of consumption of unhealthy food, people also pay less attention in taking care of themselves. Because of competitive business society, people devote most of their times to work and neglect to take care of their health. Also, stress from work is one of the reasons making the standard of people's health in the future lower since stress can negatively affect people's health. For instance, the news has shown that there are many people died from stress of work and having insufficient sleep. To conclude, I strongly believe that people's health will be increasingly unhealthy in the future because they consume unhealthy food and do not take care of themselves properly.
Recently, there is a question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will be unhealthier than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays or not.
Personally
, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
heath standard will
increasingly
decrease to the point
that is
lower than it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. This is occurring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and neglecting to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of themselves.

Firstly
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increasingly
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
nowadays and it would continue to be like this in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
as well
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no time to prepare
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to eat by themselves, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from grocery stores or restaurants
instead
.
Besides
, it is undeniable that prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from grocery stores are
usually
made from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and non-fresh ingredients that can
negatively
affect our bodies.
For example
, in the process of making prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
of 7-11, which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
grocery store in Thailand, the rice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be cooked
with oil in order to maintain its softness.

Apart from the issue of consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
pay less attention in taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of competitive business society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
devote most of their times to work and neglect to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from work is one of the reasons making the standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
lower since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
can
negatively
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, the news has shown that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of work and having insufficient sleep.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will be
increasingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and do not take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of themselves
properly
.
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IELTS essay people in the future will be unhealthier than people nowadays or not

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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