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people benefit more from traveling in their own countries or from traveling to foreign countries

people benefit more from traveling in their own countries or from traveling to foreign countries E39Kr
With developments in technology, travel has become a common trend. Some people prefer traveling to foreign countries; on the other hand, others are accustomed to local travel. From a personal perspective, traveling to different countries provides people with a great opportunity for knowledge and enjoyment. Below I will strive to explain my supporting points in more details. The first and foremost point, provided that people travel outside their countries, they could enhance their understanding and expand their horizon. To be more illustrate, individuals who travel to foreign countries get the chance to meet diverse people from different cultures and traditions, so they could amplify their critical thinking. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on what was elaborated above is, when I was in high school, I have one of my friends was accustomed to spending her vacation with her family outside our country. Thus, n she not only got the chance to visit many places around the world, but also she had the ability to enhance her skills. She could speak three different languages, which helped her to get a good job after graduation, Furthermore, she had the ability to understand diverse people's lifestyles, so she could accept people who are different from her. Consequently, traveling outside her own country helped her to build her future with prosperity. Next, coupled with broadening horizon, enjoyment is another virtue of traveling to foreign countries. To put it in other words, people who travel outside their countries could spend leisure time. In addition to that, the world is filled with various striking and amazing places, so people who travel abroad get the chance to visit all these astonishing places. For instance, the Great Pyramids in Egypt, the Great Wall in China and the Eiffel tower in Paris. Even though traveling to foreign countries is costly, it is more enjoyable than local travel. People could have the ability to visit an abundance of tourist attractions and many historical places. As a result, they could spend a pleasant time. Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, traveling to foreign countries is more beneficial than traveling inside countries. It is suggested that school design learning activities that encourage students to explore the world.
With developments in technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
has become a common trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
;
on the other hand
, others
are accustomed
to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. From a personal perspective, traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a great opportunity for knowledge and enjoyment. Below I will strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my supporting points in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

The
first
and foremost point, provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they could enhance their understanding and expand their horizon. To be more illustrate, individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and traditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they could amplify their critical thinking. A vivid example that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on what
was elaborated
above is, when I was in high school, I have one of my friends
was accustomed
to spending her vacation with her family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Thus
, n she not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the chance to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
around the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
she had the ability to enhance her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. She could speak three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
languages, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job after graduation,
Furthermore
, she had the ability to understand diverse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she could accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from her.
Consequently
, traveling
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outside
her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
her to build her future with prosperity.

Next
, coupled with broadening horizon, enjoyment is another virtue of traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. To put it
in other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could spend leisure time.
In addition
to that, the world
is filled
with various striking and amazing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to visit all these astonishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For instance
, the Great Pyramids in Egypt, the Great Wall in China and the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Eiffel tower
in Paris.
Even though
traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is costly, it is more enjoyable than local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
could have the ability to visit an abundance of tourist attractions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
As a result
, they could spend a pleasant time.

Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is more beneficial than traveling inside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It
is suggested
that school design learning activities that encourage students to explore the world.
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IELTS essay people benefit more from traveling in their own countries or from traveling to foreign countries

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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