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People are surrounded by advertisement, which has an increasing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

We are constantly surronded by advertisement, i. e. Television, Newspaper, Postboard at the road. It impact on our lives. I think advantages of advertisement outweigh the drawback. On the positive site, Advertisement are beneficial in many ways, which can provide information about new products, their benefits and prices. Sometime we can get offers, while advertisement gives information about selling. For instance, when come festivals, while many companies give advertisement about selling, so that people take advantage at low prices. Moreover, nowadays many people suffer from unemployment, but in this solution many companies and industry update their job vacancy in advertisement, so that people get to know about their job with different occupational and They get it. it is not only beneficial to people but also increase our economy. on the other hand, Some advertisement bad effect on our lives. When we watch television programme then T. V. Channel show us a lot advertisement at break time. Sometime it is irritable to us. Moreover, children watch many things in T. V. advertisement and this advertisement influence Them to buy that things. In the result, children get that things amd peers their parents. it is not good for middle class family. To pen down, Advertisement has many benefits in our day to day lives but it has also many drowback.
We are
constantly
Possible spelling mistake found.
surronded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
,
There should be no space here: “i.e.”.
i. e.
Television, Newspaper,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Postboard
at the road. It
After ‘It’, use the third-person verb form “impacts”.
impact
on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
outweigh the drawback.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Did you mean “side”?
site
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
are beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, which can provide information about new products, their benefits and prices.
It seems that “sometimes” fits better in this context. Please check.
Sometime
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
offers, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
gives information about selling.
For instance
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
festivals, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
about selling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take advantage at low prices.

Moreover
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from unemployment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and industry update their job vacancy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about their job with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
occupational and
They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it. it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase our economy.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the other hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television
Possible spelling mistake. ‘programme’ is British English.
programme
then T. V. Channel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us a lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
at break time.
It seems that “sometimes” fits better in this context. Please check.
Sometime
it is irritable to us.
Moreover
, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in T. V.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
influence Them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
that things. In the result, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that things
Possible spelling mistake found.
amd
peers their parents.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
it
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family.

To pen down,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
drowback
.
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IELTS essay People are surrounded by advertisement, which has an increasing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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