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Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects of university, What are the reasons for this ? What impact does this issues have on society?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge experience

Technology is rapidly changing the lives of people around the world; creating a high demand for university graduates with a background in science. However, the number of students studying relevant subject is well below the required level. This problems seems to be caused by outdated preconceptions, which determine young people’s choice today. One of those precoceptions is that certain subjects are better suited for men. Examples of these includes mathematics, computer science, technologies and other fields of knowledge which are totally dominated by males. In recent decades, a noticeable progress has been acheived by many countries in acknowledging that men and women are equally capable in science. Despite this big steps towards equality female employee may still feel unwelcome or, in some instances, face evident discrimination in male dominated work environments. As a result, many women with a natural inclination to science settle on studying humanties or social science at university depriving society of their main talent. Another reason for the lack of science students spreads even wider. In the past scientist were paid significantly less then professionals in such prestigious ares, such as business and law. Therefore, ambitious young people tended to choose highly paid occupations, disregarding their aptitudes for science. Things have changed today jobs in science are among those with the highest renumeration, but this trend is yet to be reflected in the university application numbers. For examples, In the UK, over half of all international students still study to choose to study for a degree in business. Consequently, economies around the world are affected by oversupply of social science graduates and a deficit of graduates with technical skills. Not surprisingly, complaints of fresh graduates who cannot find a job are frequent. To conclude, it seems some young people still perceive studying science as a route towards a mediocre income from a job where most of one’s colleagues are men. Thus too many opt for a degree in social sciences, creating an imbalanced society where highly educated university graduates struggle to find a skilled job.
Technology is
rapidly
changing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world; creating a high demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
with a background in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
However
, the number of students studying relevant subject is well below the required level.
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘problems’. Did you mean “these”?
This
problems
You should probably use “seem”.
seems
to
be caused
by outdated preconceptions, which determine young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
choice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. One of those
Possible spelling mistake found.
precoceptions
is that certain subjects are better suited for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Examples of these includes mathematics, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, technologies and other fields of knowledge which are
totally
dominated by males. In recent decades,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “noticeable progress”.
a noticeable progress
has been
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheived
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in acknowledging that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women are
equally
capable in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. Despite this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
steps towards equality female employee may
still
feel unwelcome or, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instances, face evident discrimination in male dominated work environments.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
women with a natural inclination to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
settle on studying
Possible spelling mistake found.
humanties
or social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
depriving society of their main talent. Another reason for the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
students spreads even wider. In the past scientist
were paid
significantly
less
Comparison requires “than”, not ‘then’ nor ‘as’.
then
professionals in such prestigious ares, such as business and law.
Therefore
, ambitious young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tended to choose
highly
paid occupations, disregarding their aptitudes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. Things have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
are among those with the highest
Possible spelling mistake found.
renumeration
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this trend is
yet
to
be reflected
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
application numbers. For examples, In the UK, over half of all international students
still
study to choose to study for a degree in business.
Consequently
, economies around the world are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
oversupply
of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and a deficit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
with technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Not
surprisingly
, complaints of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
who cannot find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are frequent.
To conclude
, it seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
perceive studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
as a route towards a mediocre income from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
where most of one’s colleagues are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opt for a degree in social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
, creating an imbalanced society where
highly
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
struggle to find a skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects of university, What are the reasons for this? What impact does this issues have on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge experience

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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