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Paying all workers the same salary in a company promotes harmony and respect amongst colleagues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The stipend is the most important factor in the employment sector. It is fact that many people who have higher income than others due to their accomplishments in career, skills and qualifications in their profession. It is argued by some people that equal pay scale brings peace and dignity among workers. I completely disagree with this statement because equal income level may not be beneficial for industrial progress. In this essay, I will shed some light on points and discuss that why the same salary scale is not worth to promote peace and respect among workers. To begin with, salary is main factor which drives employees to work hard every day to accomplish success for the organisation. It motivates workers to get things done in a perfect way at an office. Some jobs require extra skills and level struggle to accomplish tasks. Therefore, a number of certain positions in employment sector have higher pay scales than others because workers put extra efforts to get the job done. High salary influence workers to do the task with more enthusiasm. To illustrate more, manager have more responsibilities to ensure the success of company productivity as compared to the cleaners in a company. Paying same to both them will create unfair among them. Moreover, some jobs require extra efforts and special skills while others need only little effort to complete work. Compensating according to the demand of the job creates fair among workers. To exemplify more, CEO, have huge responsibilities to ensure the success of the organization while receptionist has only less duties as compared to CEO. If they get equally paid will cause severe problem among them. Consequently, it will lead to less productivity of a company. To sum up, paying according to demand of demand of the job motivates employees to perform with more enthusiasm. All employees will be happy and satisfied and satisfied if they get deserved amount of money for the work they do in their profession. This lead to peaceful and respected behaviour among workers at worksite
The stipend is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in the employment sector. It is fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have higher income than others due to their accomplishments in career,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and qualifications in their profession. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that equal pay scale brings peace and dignity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. I completely disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
equal income level may not be beneficial for industrial progress. In this essay, I will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on points and discuss that why the same salary scale is not worth to promote peace and respect among workers.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, salary is main factor which drives employees to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
every day to accomplish success for the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisation’ is British English.
organisation
. It motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
things done in a perfect way at an office.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and level struggle to accomplish tasks.
Therefore
, a number of certain positions in employment sector have higher pay scales than others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
put extra efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
done. High salary influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to do the task with more enthusiasm. To illustrate more, manager have more responsibilities to ensure the success of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
productivity as compared to the cleaners in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Paying same to both them will create unfair among them.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require extra efforts and special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
while others need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effort to complete work. Compensating according to the demand of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
creates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. To exemplify more, CEO, have huge responsibilities to ensure the success of the
Do not mix variants of the same word (‘organization’ and ‘organisation’) within a single text.
organization
while receptionist has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean “fewer”? The noun duties is countable.
less
duties as compared to CEO.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
equally
paid will cause severe problem among them.
Consequently
, it will lead to less productivity of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

To sum up, paying according to
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only “demand of”.
demand of demand of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
motivates employees to perform with more enthusiasm. All employees will be happy and satisfied and satisfied if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
deserved amount of money for the work they do in their profession. This lead to peaceful and respected
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
at
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
worksite
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IELTS essay Paying all workers the same salary in a company promotes harmony and respect amongst colleagues.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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