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parents want to achieve balance between family and career but only few manage to achieve it.what do you think is the reason ?Discuss possible solution and provide examples.

More and more parents are struggling with work and family balance. In my opinion, it is caused by factors like long working hours and increased job pressure. This essay will discuss the main causes of this problem. It will also suggest solutions to these problems including getting support from both employers and the government. Parents are working longer hours than ever before. In addition, they have more job pressure. Many parents aim to get a more decent salary to support their family. Meanwhile, many companies are becoming increasingly demanding to their employees, which makes these employees have to work longer hours. For example, many high-income people tend to work more than 15 hours a day. Furthermore, some people never take annual leave. As a result, working overtime makes people have less and less time to accompany their family. Getting support from both employers and the government is critical to help parents to achieve a balance between family and career much more easily. Employers should assign a reasonable workload and encourage their staff to spend more time with their family, while the government should introduce related laws and regulations to ensure people have enough holidays. For instance, a recent survey reveals that some companies have a plan to create more opportunities for their staff to achieve a balance between family and career, like organizing family day events and providing more holidays. Therefore, in order to improve work-life balance, employers and the government should play an important role in it. In conclusion, many parents fail to achieve a balance between family and career these days. This essay discussed how this problem is often caused by long working hours and heavy job pressure. At the same time, it suggested that support from employers and the government can be the solution to this problem.
More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are struggling with work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
. In my opinion, it
is caused
by factors like long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and increased job pressure. This essay will discuss the main causes of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. It will
also
suggest solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
including getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Parents are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In addition
, they have more job pressure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
aim to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a more decent salary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are becoming
increasingly
demanding to their employees, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
these employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to work more than 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never take annual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
overtime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have less and less time to accompany their family.

Getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is critical to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to achieve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and career much more
easily
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employers
should assign a reasonable workload and encourage their staff to spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should introduce related laws and regulations to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
holidays.
For instance
, a recent survey reveals that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have a plan to create more opportunities for their staff to achieve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and career, like organizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and providing more holidays.
Therefore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in it.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
fail to achieve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and career these days. This essay discussed how this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
caused by long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and heavy job pressure. At the same time, it suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can be the solution to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
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IELTS essay parents want to achieve balance between family and career but only few manage to achieve it. what do you think is the reason? Discuss possible solution and provide examples.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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