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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

In today's word the people have started living arapid & growing life to utilize the maximum time they do not focus on the food they eat. People have started consuming processed foods, fat foods, Quick bites, etc leading it effecting their health problems. Today the world is facing various health issue like diabetes, obesity, cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. In this essay, we would be talking about the people gaining weight due to junk foods. Earlier days people use to have nutritious food, due to which our older people use to live more healthy life style. However, people have started livingsedentary lifestyle due to which they are prone to gain weight and other diseases. The biggest cause to obesity is due to the fast moving life. Many of us spends our majority of time in either working at office & children studying with other extra activity. Due to which we do not focus on our eating habits and even our children are deficient with useful resources like Vitamins, calcium, magnesium, etc. We also have started living life in the modern era which don't allows us to have the food on the specific timing or watching TV, playing songs by. The above effect also plays important role in having less nutritious food and leading to gain weight. Another main cause of this is nowadays the fast food companies spend millions of dollar in the advertisement, which leads to attracting people to have junk foods. Huge fast food joints like Mcdonalds, KFC, Dominos etc have good advertisements on TV, hoarding boards and the brands also uses attractive colors and pictures to attract the children. Due to which children prone to consume junk food but don't actually see that it will be effecting to their health, leading to be an obese child and gaining weight. In many countries the government has also put ban to some processed foods that are effecting badly to health issues. For example there are some countries who have banned the consumption of the processed or frozen foods which uses many preservatives, which eventually removes essential sources from the food. Though, many food joints out there still sells such foods that leads to gaining weight. There are few effects that are caused due to weight gain. The main health issue aftergaining weight in day to day life are breathing issues, felling lazy, joints pain, etc. The major diseases that are caused due to weight gain is obesity, diabetes, high cholesterol, blood pressure, asthma etc. We have seen that children nowadays have the diseases in very early age and the major factor is related to the food that they consume. In my opinion the government should be more strict with the food agencies. The food joints should have more nutritious food that the peopleshould consume. The government should pass the lawofminimum nutrition food contain for every packet that sells out in market. The another factor to add this is the people also need to take care of their own health consuming less processed food and have the own cook food. Even educate their own children as well and make them understand that the fast foods are not good for health. In conclusion, the major factor in gaining weight which is due to the eating habits leading to causing diseases, effecting on the health. However, it can be mitigated with more awareness and restriction from government. People also need to take their health seriously and should stop consuming the fast food and even educate to their children.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's word the
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people
have
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started
living
Possible spelling mistake found.
arapid
& growing
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life
to utilize the maximum time they do not focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
they eat.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, Quick bites, etc
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leading
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effecting
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
the world is facing various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issue like diabetes, obesity, cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.

In this essay, we would be talking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to junk foods.

Earlier days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
to have nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which our older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more healthy
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life style
.

However
,
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people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
Possible spelling mistake found.
livingsedentary
lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which they are prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and other diseases.

The biggest cause to obesity is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
moving life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of us spends our majority of time in either working at office &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
studying with other extra activity.

Due to which we do not focus on our eating habits and even our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are deficient with useful resources like Vitamins, calcium, magnesium, etc.

We
also
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the modern era which don't
Did you mean “allow”?
allows
us to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on the specific timing or watching TV, playing songs by.

The above effect
also
plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in having less nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leading
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
weight.

Another main cause of this is nowadays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
spend millions of dollar in the advertisement, which leads to attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have junk foods.

Huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joints
like
Did you mean the fast food chain “McDonald’s” (always spelled with a possessive apostrophe)?
Mcdonalds
, KFC, Dominos etc have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
advertisements on TV, hoarding boards and the brands
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
attractive colors and pictures to attract the children.

Due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prone to consume junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
don't actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that it will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effecting
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leading
to be an obese child and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaining
weight.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has
also
put ban to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effecting
badly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.

For example
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries who have banned the consumption of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
or frozen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
preservatives, which
eventually
removes essential sources from the food.

“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joints
out there
still
sells such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaining
weight.

There are few effects that
are caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
. The main
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health
issue
Possible spelling mistake found.
aftergaining
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weight
in day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are breathing issues, felling lazy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joints
pain, etc.

The major diseases that
are caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
is obesity, diabetes, high cholesterol, blood pressure, asthma etc.

We have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays have the diseases in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age and the major factor
is related
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that they consume.

In my opinion the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be more strict with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
agencies. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joints
should have more nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
peopleshould
consume.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pass the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lawofminimum
nutrition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contain for every packet that sells out in market.

The another factor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
this is the
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people
also
need to take care of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
consuming less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cook food.

Even educate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as well
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health.

In conclusion
, the major factor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the eating habits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leading
to causing diseases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effecting
on the health.

However
, it can
be mitigated
with more awareness and restriction from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
also
need to take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
seriously
and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
consuming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and even educate to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

Essay
  American English
27 paragraphs
585 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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