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Parents should give their children money for better grades.

Parents should give their children money for better grades. MMLrQ
A lot of psychological theories and textbooks are related to the controversial topic of getting children motivated. Due to the lack of a developed mind, children often fail to see what will benefit them, among those that do, what will help them the most. Probably getting the kids to study is the hardest part of parenting that people have to get through with. To be more specific, over sixty percent of children resist putting away what they enjoy and do their homework. This is a somewhat disquieting issue for their parents and teachers. However, I believe parents can exploit many things as an incentive for overcoming this problem. Among all the motivation, I think money comes the best. To begin with, getting money out of hard work can teach kids some valuable lessons; Lessons like how hard work pays off and how money is valuable because not only we can buy stuff but also it is hard to achieve. For example, my brother was a troublesome boy. As much as diligence I had toward my education, he found himself interested in video games instead. Thus, my mother used money as a motivation for my little brother to do his homework. He would get some cash each night that he did his exercises. After a while, he saw how his hard work is paying off both financially and academically. His grades began to improve, and he had gathered lots of money that he could buy himself anything he wanted. Had my mother not lit his ambitions with money, he would probably still be playing useless games. Besides, if this money comes with financial training, it will be beneficial to children's future, as well. By financial training, I mean teaching them how to keep their money, how not to waste it, and how they can get better things by avoiding purchases on small things. Take my brother as an example again, and he learned how to deal with money from that age, whereas I was never blessed with that knowledge. I never had control over my finances, and now I am in trouble because of my out-of-control expenses. However, my brother is and more financially stable, even though I have a better income. Had I learned this from my youth, I would have been able to cope better with my money issues. All in all, I believe providing incentives for children can be hard. But money has proved to be effective when it comes to motivation. Also, if children are being taught about finance management from an early age, they can carry out this skill throughout their lives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
psychological theories and textbooks
are related
to the controversial topic of getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
motivated. Due to the lack of a developed mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what will benefit them, among those that do, what will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them the most.
Probably
getting the kids to study is the hardest part of parenting that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through with. To be more specific, over sixty percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
resist putting away what they enjoy and do their homework. This is a somewhat disquieting issue for their parents and teachers.
However
, I believe parents can exploit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things as an incentive for overcoming this problem. Among all the motivation, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the best.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work can teach kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable lessons; Lessons like how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work pays off and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is valuable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to achieve.
For example
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
was a troublesome boy. As much as diligence I had toward my education, he found himself interested in video games
instead
.
Thus
, my mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a motivation for my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
to do his homework. He would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cash each night that he did his exercises. After a while, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
how his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work is paying off both
financially
and
academically
. His grades began to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, and he had gathered lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that he could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
himself anything he wanted. Had my mother not lit his ambitions with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, he would
probably
still
be playing useless games.

Besides
, if this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with financial training, it will be beneficial to children's future,
as well
. By financial training, I mean teaching them how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, how not to waste it, and how they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better things by avoiding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
things. Take my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
as an example again, and he learned how to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from that age, whereas I was never blessed with that knowledge. I
The adverb 'never' is usually put between 'had' and 'control'.
never had control
over my finances, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am in trouble
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my out-of-control expenses.
However
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
is and more
financially
stable,
even though
I have a better income. Had I learned this from my youth, I would have been able to cope better with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
issues.

All in all, I believe providing incentives for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has proved to be effective when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to motivation.
Also
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
being taught
about finance management from an early age, they can carry out this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
throughout their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Parents should give their children money for better grades.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
436 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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