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Parent buys large quantity of toys for their children. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of aquiring such item.

Parent buys large quantity of toys for their children. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of aquiring such item. 2RpQ6
Firstly, I would like talk about the danger these items poses on kids. Most times the toys they play with comes in different shapes and sizes ranging from very big to very small items which can be consumed mistakingly by kids, thus causing endangering their lives most especially if such item is poisonous. Take for instance a child eating a car battery which contains lead can kill the child within few hours if no medical attention is given to that baby. Conversely, children brain are developing. Exposing them to different range of play items would help their psychomotor skills as well as develop their IQ. Enagaing babys with toys can help develop their brain because these materials are not just available for playing but also help them build their recognitive and calculative skills. Studies have shown that student who engage in lots of child hood games and actives do better when compared to those who do not participate in any actives while growing up. in conclusion, acquiring large number of toys for our young ones would help them develop their brain faster, but when giving them these materials to play with they should constantly be supervised so they don't end up consuming the toys which would inturn endanger their lives.
Firstly
, I would like talk about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
poses on kids. Most times the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
they play with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
shapes and sizes ranging from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
which can
be consumed
Possible spelling mistake found.
mistakingly
by kids,
thus
causing endangering their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
most
especially
if such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
is poisonous. Take
for instance
a child eating a car battery which contains lead can kill the child within few hours if no medical attention is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to that baby.

Conversely
, children brain are developing. Exposing them to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
range of play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their psychomotor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as develop their IQ.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Enagaing
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "babies", the plural form of the noun 'baby'?
babys
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
develop their brain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these materials are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
available for playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them build their
Possible spelling mistake found.
recognitive
and calculative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Studies have shown that student who engage in
Possible agreement error. The noun child seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of children".
lots of child
hood games and actives do better when compared to those who do not participate in any actives while growing up.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion, acquiring large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for our young ones would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them develop their brain faster,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when giving them these materials to play with they should
constantly
be supervised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up consuming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
which would
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturn
endanger their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Parent buys large quantity of toys for their children. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of aquiring such item.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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