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Overall, while overseas visitors show high increase in the coast and in the lake. However number of foreign visitors showed relatively stagnation in the mountain.

Overall, while overseas visitors show high increase in the coast and in the lake. However number of foreign visitors showed relatively stagnation in the mountain. 6xE8l
Overall, while overseas visitors show high increase in the coast and in the lake. However number of foreign visitors showed relatively stagnation in the mountain. In 1987, while 10 thousands outer visitors went to the lake, the number of travels increased until nearly 28 thousands in 1992. Almost, the growth showed itself in field of the mountain tourism. Consequently, in 1987 it was 40 thousands, while this travels was approximately 29 thousands between 1987 and 1992. In 1992 number of visitors began to grow and reached approximately from 36 thousands to 50 thousands until to 1997. Similarly, the growth continued in field of the lakes journey. As a result, number of visitors was 40 thousands in 1997. In 2002 the growth reached to highest number nearly to 75 thousands. Similarly same growth was in the coast, consequently, number of outer visitors was 60 thousands between 1997 and 2002. And the growth continued until 2007 and it was approximately 76 thousands. Aldo most of outer visitors went to the lakes. However the number suddenly show downward trend between 2002 and 2007. So while number of visitors was approximately 75 thousands in 2002, but it down until 50 thousands in 2007. Similarly, this decrease showed itself in the coast from 19987 to 1992. In the 1987 number of tourist was 40 thousands but it decreased to 35 thousands
Overall
, while overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
high increase in the coast and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
relatively
stagnation in the mountain.

In 1987, while 10 thousands outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
went to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of travels increased until
nearly
28 thousands in 1992. Almost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
itself in field of the mountain tourism.
Consequently
, in 1987 it was 40 thousands, while
Did you mean "these"?
this
travels was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approximately
29 thousands between 1987 and 1992. In 1992
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
began to grow and reached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approximately
from 36 thousands to 50 thousands until to 1997.
Similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
continued in field of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lakes
journey.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
was 40 thousands in 1997. In 2002 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
reached to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
nearly
to 75 thousands.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
was in the coast,
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
was 60 thousands between 1997 and 2002. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
continued until 2007 and it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approximately
76 thousands.

Aldo most of outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
went to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lakes
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
downward trend between 2002 and 2007.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approximately
75 thousands in 2002,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it down until 50 thousands in 2007.
Similarly
, this decrease
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
itself in the coast from 19987 to 1992. In the 1987
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of tourist was 40 thousands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it decreased to 35
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
thousands
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IELTS essay Overall, while overseas visitors show high increase in the coast and in the lake. However number of foreign visitors showed relatively stagnation in the mountain.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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