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over using of sugar and its health problems

over using of sugar and its health problems 2RYBM
One of the most essential affairs, nowadays, is high blood sugar which can lead to a severe disease whose name is Diabetes. Numerous items such as pre-prepared meals and artificial drinks, which are produced in food industries, are included too much sugar. This amount of sugar may increase some health issues among individuals. Owing to this fact, many believe products with a high degree of sugar should witness a rise in their prices to decline their consumption, while others, myself included, assume that this procedure is not a beneficial notion and not a constant way of controlling. To begin with, progressing the prices are not a functional idea, due to the fact that even these products become more and more expensive, a great number of people still will be purchasing them. A great proof of this theory is the dramatic soaring of sodas’ prices. Not only does this procedure not drop the consumption of sodas but also, they are still one of the favorite kinds of drinks all around the world. Consequently, so much rise in prices is not practical and somehow is futile. An important step, on the other hand, that could be taken is the education of people regarding the devastating effects of sugar. Only if they comprehend how harmful artificial sugar is, could they avoid over-consumption of that. Advocates to this verdict argue that the government should honestly talk with fellow citizens about health problems, which are the result of eating too much sugar daily, through the various medium to at least encourage some of whom to be careful about their diets. Informing people has always been great. From what has been discussed, and in order to draw a conclusion, although an escalation in prices is a temporary way of controlling sugar consumption per person, it would not be paid overtime. Therefore, spirits should be encouraged and educated in order to stop eating excess sugar on a daily basis.
One of the most essential affairs, nowadays, is high blood
sugar
which can lead to a severe disease whose name is Diabetes. Numerous items such as
pre-prepared
meals and artificial drinks, which
are produced
in food industries,
are included
too much
sugar
. This amount of
sugar
may increase
some
health issues among individuals. Owing to this fact,
many
believe products with a high degree of
sugar
should witness a rise in their
prices
to decline their consumption, while others, myself included, assume that this procedure is not a beneficial notion and not a constant way of controlling.

To
begin
with, progressing the
prices
are not a functional
idea
, due to the fact that even these products become more and more expensive, a great number of
people
still
will be purchasing them. A great proof of this theory is the dramatic soaring of sodas’
prices
. Not
only
does this procedure not drop the consumption of sodas
but
also
, they are
still
one of the favorite kinds of drinks all around the world.
Consequently
,
so
much rise in
prices
is not practical and somehow is futile.

An
important
step,
on the other hand
, that could
be taken
is the education of
people
regarding the devastating effects of
sugar
.
Only
if they comprehend how harmful artificial
sugar
is, could they avoid over-consumption of that. Advocates to this verdict argue that the
government
should
honestly
talk with fellow citizens about health problems, which are the result of eating too much
sugar
daily, through the various medium to at least encourage
some
of whom to be careful about their diets. Informing
people
has always been great.

From what has
been discussed
, and in order to draw a conclusion, although an escalation in
prices
is a temporary way of controlling
sugar
consumption per person, it would not
be paid
overtime.
Therefore
, spirits should
be encouraged
and educated in order to
stop
eating excess
sugar
on a daily basis.
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IELTS essay over using of sugar and its health problems

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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