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Students should be free to choose study or play games. They should be allowed to manage their own time . Do you agree or disagree?

Students should be free to choose study or play games. They should be allowed to manage their own time. x86dQ
It is very difficult for that students to spend their time as well as manage it. however some people deem that they should be free. I will agree with it and points will discussed furtherCommencing with several Reasons. firstly they can learn mistakes which increase their mind ability moreover they will make more efforts In addition too to this. They know very well abput their ability and how much time they need To conclude it is stated that it is important for them to manage their time by their own choice
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for that students to spend their time
as well
as manage it.
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deem that they should be free. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it and points will discussed
Possible spelling mistake found.
furtherCommencing
with several Reasons.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
they can learn mistakes which increase their mind ability
moreover
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more efforts
In addition
too to this. They know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well
Possible spelling mistake found.
abput
their ability and how much time they need
To conclude
it
is stated
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them to manage their time by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
choice

IELTS essay Students should be free to choose study or play games. They should be allowed to manage their own time.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
90 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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