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Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there’s nothing that can be done to change our character traits

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there’s nothing that can be done to change our character traits ERyr
Before our birth, our persona is pre-established by our genes and no efforts can transform our character traits. I disagree with the above statement because habits behaviour and environment can modify our nature. In the following essay, I will substantiate my views. To begin with, the genes in our body are inherited and have been passed down from generation to generation. Yet there are possibilities of character modification through persistence intervention made during a child’s young years. Since children are young and it’s easier to mold their minds, adults can make efforts by inculcating good habits at the early stage of their lives, such as reading books, participation in physical and life skills activities, and much more. For instance, a US-based mother enrolled her pre-schooler in cookery classes to enhance her motor and intellectual skills, so that her child develops into a confident and self-reliant individual in the future. Likewise, to shape a child’s personality, adults need to make sure their children are in good company and are in an environment that nurtures them mentally as well as physically. In addition, the best way to develop a child’s character is by setting a good example yourselves because children learn by watching and imitating your everyday actions. Being a role model for your children can influence the direction of your child’s character. For instance, if an adult shows respect and kindness towards the underserved people, your child will naturally be respectful towards everyone. To summarize, there are probabilities of transforming someone’s character if they are taught about good habits and behaviour at an early age and making sure they are surrounded by people that inspire them. Finally, the best-proven way to impact your child’s character trait is by being a positive role model to them so that they can live a happy, fulfilling, and productive life ahead.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
our birth, our persona is pre-established by our genes and no efforts can transform our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
traits. I disagree with the above statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
habits
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and environment can modify our nature. In the following essay, I will substantiate my views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the genes in our body
are inherited
and have
been passed
down from generation to generation.
Yet
there are possibilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
modification through persistence intervention made during a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
young years. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are young and it’s easier to mold their minds, adults can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts by inculcating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habits at the early stage of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, such as reading books, participation in physical and life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
activities, and much more.
For instance
, a US-based mother enrolled her
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-schooler
in cookery classes to enhance her motor and intellectual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
develops into a confident and self-reliant individual in the future.

Likewise
, to shape a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
personality, adults need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and are in an environment that nurtures them mentally
as well
as
physically
.
In addition
, the best way to develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
is by setting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example yourselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn by watching and imitating your everyday actions. Being a role model for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can influence the direction of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
.
For instance
, if an adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
respect and kindness towards the underserved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will
naturally
be respectful towards everyone.

To summarize
, there are probabilities of transforming someone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
if they
are taught
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habits and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
at an early age and making sure they
are surrounded
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that inspire them.
Finally
, the best-proven way to impact your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
trait is by being a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role model to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happy, fulfilling, and productive life ahead.
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IELTS essay Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there’s nothing that can be done to change our character traits

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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